


A Hundred and Fifty Eight

by point0k



Category: Free!
Genre: Domestic, Fluff, Implied Intimacy, Love Confessions, M/M, Nagisa's Birthday, Nothing explicit, Romance, Time Skips, a little bit of angst, dumb sappy boyfriends, enjoy, i know it's already past nagisa's birthday but i got the idea late, references to eternal summer, rei's struggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 16:46:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2117328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/point0k/pseuds/point0k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>‘I think I’ve liked you for a long time now.’</em>
</p><p>In which a seventeenth and nineteenth birthday is celebrated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After finishing [Rhythm of Happiness](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1593266/chapters/3387995), I've had pretty bad writer's block for a few weeks and I wanted to write something to get past it. Hence domestic au! :) This first part deals with the events after Nagisa's seventeenth birthday, so the domesticity will come later. Enjoy!

**-Summer, Two Years Ago-**

 

 _Creak, creak, scrape._

The sound of the swing’s chains straining against each other, of sandaled feet dragging against sand. These were the only two sounds between them, a tall boy with dark blue hair and red glasses and a shorter boy with fluffy blonde hair, his burgundy eyes uncharacteristically thoughtful as they stared forward. Above them, the light of the nearby lamppost flickered, as if the bulb’s life span was coming to an end. 

They had stopped by the neighborhood playground because Nagisa said he had something important to say, but at the moment the older boy was silent. It made Rei nervous, seeing his best friend like this—after the time when Nagisa had run away from home, he could not help but be more watchful of the blond’s mood and actions. Not that he thought Nagisa would run away from home again, but all the same, it worried Rei when his usually cheerful, talkative teammate was being quieter than usual. 

But at least, Rei thought with relief, it didn’t really seem like he was in a _bad_ mood—at least, not with the lively time they had just had. Today was Nagisa’s seventeenth birthday, and minutes earlier they had been heading home from the local diner after celebrating with Haru, Makoto, Gou, Rin, and even Ai, Momotarou, and Sousuke. The blond had been delighted with the strawberry-filled Iwatobi-chan cake, mostly the work of Haru and Rei himself (Makoto had attempted to help out but had somehow injured himself with the beater and was sent to the Nanases’ living room). Not to mention all the penguin-themed presents he had received— considering that none of them had discussed what they were getting him, it had been a somewhat amazing feat. Nagisa had been immensely delighted when, coincidentally, Ai, Momotarou, _and_ Sousuke presented him with the same baby penguin doll from the same aquarium gift shop. Along with the new Iwatobi-chan strap from Haru, penguin hoodie from Makoto, penguin-patterned wetsuit from Gou and Rin (the blond had been astonished to find out that it wasn’t _Rei’s_ gift), and a less-flashy but cute penguin music box from Rei himself, the blond could have set up a penguin souvenir shop of his own. Of course, Nagisa had been scandalized by the mere playful suggestion ( _“No way I’m going to sell my own birthday gifts, Rei-chan!”_ ), but he had joined in on the laughter soon enough. Back then the blond had been smiling, full of excited chatter and laughter as he tackled his friends with thank-you hugs and ate enough food to fill three average adult stomachs. 

He was still smiling now, but from the look in his eyes Rei could tell something important was on his mind. After observing Nagisa for some time, Rei was the first to speak up. 

“Is there something wrong, Nagisa-kun?” Blinking, Nagisa looked up from his swing. 

“What makes you think that, Rei-chan?” he asked. Even as he did, the light in his eyes seemed to flicker. Now Rei was 100% certain that something was weighing on Nagisa’s mind.

“Well, the fact that you’ve asked to stop by the park so we could discuss something—and the fact that you were sitting quietly on the swing for fifteen minutes so far,” he began, readjusting his glasses with a look of concern. “It can’t be…that you had a disagreement with your parents again?” Blinking, Nagisa shook his head.

“Nah—it’s not what you’re thinking, Rei-chan!” As the blond laughed, Rei’s expression relaxed slightly. “Sure, they still nag me about my grades and whatnot, but they haven’t told me to quit the swim club ever since that one time!” Tipping back on the swing, Nagisa smiled curiously at Rei. “Whatever gave you the idea, Rei-chan?” 

“Well—“Rei averted his eyes a little guiltily. “Since that time, I’ve noticed more…things about you that I hadn’t before, and…I realize now that you were always more thoughtful of others than yourself, Nagisa-kun.” As Nagisa’s stare grew rounder, Rei coughed slightly. 

“Even back when I got angry at you over Rin-san, you tried your best to calm the tension between us—even though you had every right to be angry with me for snapping. And even back when you ran away from home, you didn’t tell Haruka-senpai or Makoto-senpai about your problems right away.” _And you didn’t tell me, either._ “Strangely enough, there are times when you seem to hold back the most on yourself, Nagisa-kun. So at times like this, when we’re together, I keep wondering…if there are things you want to say that you aren’t.” 

Next to him, he heard the creaking of the swing chains come to a stop. When Rei looked up, Nagisa was smiling at him.

“You know something? Out of all the people I’ve met, the person I’ve been the most honest with is you, Rei-chan.” As Rei’s eyes widened, the blond laughed a little. “I mean, sure, back then I tried to hide my feelings from even you, and I was a crying mess when I failed to—but how could I keep running away when you kept turning me around?” His smile softened. 

“It was because you told me I _could_ —that’s why I was finally able to face my parents, Rei-chan. Now I’m not so afraid of being honest with them anymore—we still see things differently a lot of the time, but at least they know how I feel now.” The blond swung his feet forward casually, making his swing move a little. 

“Before that, I was always running away from confrontation—and not just with my parents, either. Ever since I was little, I’ve always hated conflict, and that’s why I held back a lot from saying what I really wanted to. But when I saw you going out to butt heads with Rin-chan, and then when you butted heads with me, I started thinking that I wanted to change, too.” His grip on the swing loosened, then tightened. 

“So I—I want to keep trying now. To face my feelings head-on, and say what I want to say.”

“Nagisa-kun…?” Was it Rei’s imagination, or did Nagisa look…shy? The older boy’s eyes were lowered towards the ground, his long lashes fluttering nervously as he stared down at his feet. He was silent for so long that Rei started to think he had to speak up again. Just as he opened his mouth, however, Nagisa spoke in a voice so quiet that Rei almost didn’t catch his words.

 

“I like you, Rei-chan.” 

 

The breath stuck in Rei’s throat, leaving his mouth to gape unceremoniously. A million thoughts flooded his head that moment, before he narrowed them down to one conclusion.

“I—that’s sweet of you to say so, Nagisa-kun,” he heard himself say, his voice sounding mildly thankful. “As a friend I hold you in similar regards as well—“

“Not like that.” Nagisa’s voice was still quiet but cut through Rei’s words like a knife. 

“I really like you, Rei-chan. As more than a friend.” 

The silence that followed was brief, but felt like hours. Rei could see the blond’s hands tighten around the swing chains, could see the outlines of the knuckles on his hand tense and sharpen. 

“It took me over a year to figure it out…but I’m positive now.” Under the lamplight, Rei noticed the unmistakable red that was flooding Nagisa’s cheeks, as he slowly raised his head to face him. There was a small smile on his face, but his eyes shone with quiet sincerity, one that Rei recognized all too well the few times he saw it. He could feel his own cheeks start to color as Nagisa proceeded to say his next words.

…

_‘I think I’ve liked you for a long time now.’_

Rei didn’t remember much about how they had returned home that night. All he knew was that Nagisa had gotten off the swing after a while of silence, had said that they should head back. He remembered seeing Nagisa head inside his house before leaving for his own—the blond turning around and smiling his usual bright smile before wishing Rei good night and closing the door. All throughout that time, so many questions had been on his mind, on the tip of his tongue—ones that the small part of his brain that still retained some logic kept caged in his mouth.

 _What do you mean, you like me as more than a friend?_ Why _? Why is it me? Since when? What do you even like about me in the first place? Why is it_ me _?_

On the night of August 1st, Rei lay awake in bed for the longest time, in his butterfly-print pajamas—staring at the empty ceiling as he painted his best friend’s smile on it with his mind, over and over again. It was a little before he finally fell asleep that it occurred to Rei—that the thought of _‘But we’re both male’_ had not crossed his mind even once during the walk home.

…

Fortunately or unfortunately, the week of Nagisa’s birthday was also the week of a special joint practice with Samezuka. It meant that Rei would see Nagisa every single day during that week, even though it was summer vacation. 

On the first day of practice, Rei and Nagisa boarded the train together for Samezuka Academy—both of them falling silent after their initial morning greetings. It was less awkward when they were at practice—there, they were kept occupied with improving their strokes and times, especially under the extra-hard grilling of Rin and Sousuke, who knew the two of them would be the next captain and vice-captain for their swim club. The train ride home was another story—the air between them had somehow become more stifling than during the morning ride, neither of them meeting each others’ eyes, the two of them barely saying their goodbyes to each other before Nagisa got off first. 

The next morning, Rei woke up to a text from Nagisa. He swallowed nervously before flipping his phone open.

_{I’ll go ahead on an earlier train, Rei-chan! Just want to get a head-start on practice! See you later!}_

The contents of the message left Rei feeling, strangely enough, a little more strained than relieved. He sat up in bed, stared at the text on his screen with his slightly hazy eyesight, before his mother came up to see why he hadn’t come down for breakfast yet. 

…

That afternoon during practice, Nagisa approached him with a smile that Rei knew was forced, and told him he would leave for Samezuka on an earlier train for the rest of the week, and depart on an earlier train. He gave the excuse of having evening plans with friends and family, before scampering away and leaping into the pool. 

For the next few days, Rei went back and forth from Samezuka alone on the train. Sometimes, when an empty seat turned up, he found himself looking over his shoulder to call Nagisa’s name—only to remember that the blond had gone home already. Now his train rides were much quieter, with only the hum of the train’s movement and passengers’ voices in the background. 

Sometimes he caught himself visualizing Nagisa on the train—Nagisa plopping down in the seat Rei usually gave up for him, Nagisa chatting animatedly about the events at that day’s practice, Nagisa invading his singular-seat-sized personal space with his energetic motions. Nagisa falling asleep, head falling gently on Rei’s shoulder with drool trailing down his mouth, a peaceful look on his face, his skin glowing rosy in the evening sun. Rei wondered if that was what the color of Nagisa’s blush would look like in daylight, before he caught himself and tried to shake the thought away. 

He wondered, if he didn’t do anything about their situation for long enough, Nagisa would continue to avoid him at school. At swim practice. On the train home. 

Rei was startled by the powerful cold that engulfed his stomach.

…

_‘I really like you.’_

On the fourth night after swim practice, he decided that he had remained silent long enough. As he lay awake in bed, Rei stared at the empty text message addressed to Nagisa. Slowly, he started typing out a message.

_{About the other day. I think we should remain friends—}_

_{I have been thinking for quite a while, Nagisa-kun, and I have come to the conclusion that—}_

_{Perhaps we are better off maintaining our friendship. And I do want to maintain our friendship—}_

He spent over an hour composing various texts, all of which he ended up deleting. Somehow, none of them seemed like the right thing to say. 

Just what did he really want to say in the first place? That they should call it a truce? That they should get along like before, as if Nagisa’s confession had never happened? 

That Nagisa should stop liking him? 

Again, the brunet recalled his friend’s smile on the night of his birthday—the nervousness in it so rare that Rei knew it was genuine. Because despite Nagisa’s tendency to clam up when it came to his own problems, he had always been genuine when it came to his feelings towards Rei. Because in comparison, despite all of his own bravado, all his bold confrontations with his friends over the past one and a half years, Rei was less straightforward and brave than Nagisa thought. Especially over matters like this, where he knew he might lose someone who was undeniably important to him—friend or not. 

_‘I like you, Rei-chan.’_

He wondered if, had he been in Nagisa’s shoes, he would have been able to convey his feelings in the same way. Already, there was a part of Rei that doubted it. Because if he couldn’t even send a simple text saying what he really felt, that he didn’t want to lose his best friend, what did that make all his speeches about being brave and facing forward? 

Just who, Rei wondered, was the braver one here?

…

They nearly bumped into each other in Samezuka’s locker room the next day. Nagisa only murmured a quick apology before ducking past Rei towards another set of lockers, where Nitori was putting on his goggles. Rei almost called out his name, but stopped himself just in time. From behind him Makoto eyed the two of them worriedly, having noticed the tension between the usually lively pair in the past few days. 

Needless to say, Nagisa had begun avoiding Rei during practice as well. Now, instead of hopping after Rei and teasing him, the blond redirected his attention towards the others instead. Whenever he saw Nagisa whisper something into Ai’s ear, or tackle Momotarou with a surprise hug from behind, nuzzle Sousuke in the arm or body-slam Rin as a greeting—while ignoring Rei the whole time—the brunet found himself looking away with a frown. A foreign irritation brewed in his stomach each time, one that puzzled him to no small extent. It was during times like this that Rei caught himself wondering if he had dreamed about the confession that night. Whether he was the one more affected by it than Nagisa himself.

Other times, Rei found himself catching glimpses of Nagisa when he was on his own. Nagisa diving into the pool, Nagisa doing the breaststroke with his energetic crawl, Nagisa’s lithely muscled torso breaking out of the water, a bright smile spreading across his face when Gou told him his time had improved. Rei knew that, if they were in Iwatobi’s outdoor pool, the beads of water on Nagisa’s hair would catch the sunlight, making it shine a beautiful golden yellow. It had always reminded Rei of sunflowers in the evening light. He thought the color suited his friend well—something that he had never told Nagisa before, because he had always felt too shy to do so. 

When Nagisa’s head coincidentally turned in his direction, Rei quickly averted his eyes. Looking around, he spotted the nearest person, who happened to be Rin, and walked towards him. As he struck up a conversation with the redhead, Rei had his back turned towards Nagisa—so he didn’t notice how the boy’s face fell slightly, before he ducked his head back under the pool.

…

“Did you and Nagisa have a fight, Rei?” 

It was after practice that day when Makoto asked the question. Nearly jumping out of his shoes, Rei instinctively did a quick scan of the area around him—before he remembered that Nagisa had gone home before them. Sighing in relief, Rei turned back to a slightly stern-looking Makoto. Jumping with surprise, the brunet stuttered,

“Wh-what is it, Makoto-senpai?!” Makoto appraised Rei with the same stern stare before sighing.

“You two have been avoiding each other ever since the beginning of joint practice,” he said. “Everyone’s noticed it by now, even the Samezuka swim team—and I can tell that it’s making Nagisa upset.” At the mention of the blond, Rei’s eyes rounded with confusion.

“B-but—Nagisa-kun is the one who avoided me first!” he replied with disbelief. “That’s why I naturally thought—“ _That he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore._ He wondered if it was because he had not given a response right away. Just the thought made Rei’s heart clench. As the younger boy fell silent, Makoto studied Rei with concern before opening his mouth.

“I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but I can tell that neither of you are happy with the way things are right now. It feels strange to see you guys acting like this—I mean, it’s always been obvious to everyone how much both of you enjoy being together.” In response, Rei blinked.

“It was?” At his dazed murmur, Makoto relented with his stern front and chuckled good-naturedly.

“Of course. That’s why, when the two of you aren’t getting along, everyone worries.” He reached out to pat Rei encouragingly on the shoulder. “It might not be easy, because relationships are hardly ever that, but if it’s you, Rei, I’m sure you’ll be able to reach Nagisa. After all, you’ve always been one to meet problems head-on—and you were the one who told Nagisa not to give up when it comes to talking things out.” The taller boy scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “That’s why, I think if Nagisa’s forgotten your words, you should be the one to remind him.” 

“…What if—“ Rei hesitated. “What if, this time, I’m not sure how I should amend things?” His hand clenched into a fist at his thigh. “What happened between us, it—it’s not something that can be solved by logical thinking.” To Rei, things were different from last time. To him, being honest with one’s feelings was logical. But when those feelings involved romance…to Rei, _romance itself_ wasn’t logical to begin with. Even now he couldn’t understand why, how Nagisa could have come to feel that way about someone like him. “I understand that—that Nagisa-kun and even you, Makoto-senpai, you both think I’m up-front and decisive all the time, but to be honest, I…” 

_I have no idea what I really want to do._ As the realization hit him, he stopped short of himself, blinking hard. Hadn’t he decided that he wanted to stay friends with Nagisa? For a moment, Makoto regarded his friend, before smiling gently at him.

“You know, Rei, you don’t always have to know what to do. It’s true that we’ve been saved a few times because you knew exactly what to do, but we don’t expect you to be perfect. I’m sure Nagisa feels the same way I do—if you ask him to, I’m sure he’ll let you figure out your feelings at your own pace. In fact, maybe he’ll even help—because even though there are times when he won’t talk about his own feelings, Nagisa’s always been perceptive of the emotions around him.” The older boy tilted his head thoughtfully. “In the end, the point of everything is to communicate, isn’t it? To get to the heart of the matter together—“ 

“Makoto, Rei! What’s taking you so long!” The two of them looked up with surprise, as Rin’s shout interrupted their conversation. “Hurry up!” 

“Ah—we’re coming!” After calling out, Makoto turned back to Rei with a smile.

“If it’s the two of you, I’m sure you’ll be able to work things out side by side. Good luck, Rei.” With that, the taller boy sped up to catch up with the others. 

For a moment, Rei remained standing where he was, staring into space. Eventually, a look of something like determination crossed his face, before he collected himself and joined the others.

…

He spent that night reading books, internet articles, magazines, anything he could get his hands on. As stiffly methodical as it seemed, it was the closest to Rei’s comfort zone after all, his way of trying to figure out things. When he looked up at the clock and it read 4 AM, the brunet reluctantly got up from his desk and staggered over to his bed. Even after he got under the covers, he lay awake for another hour, dark circles sinking deeper into his skin, his mind buzzing with too many thoughts.

During the brief three hours of sleep he had, Rei dreamed about when he had first met Nagisa. The burst of happiness he had felt when Nagisa called his pole vaulting beautiful. The same feeling of happiness, one that he had been unused to feeling, when the blond slung an arm around his shoulders and said he would take responsibility. His dream ended with the familiar sound of laughter, a bubbly and childlike sound that he knew came from the heart. 

When he woke up, it was one hour past the time he should have gotten up. Remembering that his parents had mentioned leaving early for a wedding that day, Rei groaned. Throwing his covers off, the brunet hurried out of bed to get ready for practice. 

In the back of his mind, he wondered when the last time he had heard Nagisa laugh like that had been. His birthday? It had only been five days since that night, yet to Rei it felt like it had been forever since. 

He found himself thinking, that he really missed it. He missed seeing Nagisa smile like himself, laugh like himself. Being himself around Rei. He even missed the sound of Nagisa’s seemingly endless chatter, the shorter boy’s surprise hugs and tackles as he invaded Rei’s personal space. 

Even with other people around him, Rei felt a piercing sensation of loneliness in his chest.

…

When he showed up late at practice with dark circles under his eyes, Rin was less strict with him than he might usually have been, clicking his tongue and telling him to ‘get his ass to the locker room and back’ by the time he finished three laps. From the side Makoto cast him a worried look, but apparently decided that Rei might need some time on his own, not saying anything about their conversation the day before. 

During practice, as Rei was sitting off to the side during his break, he caught Nagisa casting him a worried look from the pool. When their eyes met, a sudden nervous jolt traveled through Rei’s chest—however, he stopped himself from looking away, just in time. The blond averted his eyes first, ducking back into the pool. When he resurfaced and found that Rei was still staring at him, Nagisa blushed before averting his eyes again. While Rei was still not used to seeing his friend look shy, a part of him felt relieved to find that Nagisa’s feelings still hadn’t—

Rei blinked, physically feeling his thoughts come to a halt. Only five minutes of spaced-out staring later did he realize that Nagisa had disappeared from his line of sight, and that he had been staring hard at an empty plot of pool water. 

After that, Rei was the one who was averting his eyes for the rest of practice.

…

“Rei-chan.”

On his way to the train station, a hand caught him by the wrist. Startled, Rei turned and nearly jumped out of his skin. Nagisa released his wrist almost as soon as he had grabbed it, quickly casting his eyes on the ground. 

“Y-you didn’t leave early?” Rei heard his own voice falter out. In the back of his mind, he was briefly impressed with himself for finding his voice in the first place. The brunet had been so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed that Nagisa had stuck around until the usual end of swim practice. In response, the older boy shuffled his feet slightly, a small smile on his face that didn’t travel up to his eyes. 

“Yeah. I just…felt like sticking around ‘til the end.” Rei thought he saw a brief look of hesitation cross Nagisa’s face—however, when the blond looked up, it was gone, replaced by a soft smile. 

Suddenly, Rei realized that it had been a while since they stood close like this, facing each other properly. For a moment the he lost himself in staring at Nagisa—taking in his fluffy blonde hair and boyish features, his soft-looking face and smooth neck, the lines sloping fluidly into his shoulders, joining the flow of the collarbones that were revealed by his wide-necked shirt. His eyes lingered the longest on Nagisa’s softly curved lips—when he caught himself, Rei felt his throat dry and quickly moved his eyes along.

He smelled like chlorine, and more faintly, like strawberries. Unconsciously, Rei found himself leaning towards the scent—before a loud, cheerful voice rudely pulled him back to reality.

“Good work, Nagi-chan-senpai, Rei-chan-senpai~!” The two of them turned to see Momotarou passing by, a bright grin on his face that indicated that he had no idea he was disturbing a moment. “See ya both tomorrow~!” Next to him, an annoyed-looking Ai grabbed Momo by the ear, quickly dragging him away.

“Honestly, you have no tact at all, you idiot.” “AHHHH—let go, Ai-senpai, it hurts! _Ai-senpaiiii~~!”_ As the struggling kouhai and his senpai furthered away, Rei could feel his ears turning pink. Slowly he turned his attention back towards Nagisa—when he saw the blush on the blond’s cheeks, Rei’s pulse began to speed up a little. 

“Do you…wanna board the train together?” Surprised at Nagisa’s small voice, Rei blinked owlishly before replying.

“…Of course.” At that, Nagisa looked up, a genuine smile finally spreading across his face. Rocking back on his heels, he spoke in the liveliest tone that Rei had heard from him all week.

“Let’s go, Rei-chan!” As the shorter boy trotted forward, Rei followed silently, his mind still in a daze. 

When they boarded the train, there were two seats left in the car, side by side. After staring at them for a while, Nagisa turned to Rei with a small smile.

“You should sit, Rei-chan! I’m not that tired—“ As soon as he said this, a yawn escaped Nagisa’s throat, and he stopped to cover his mouth with one hand. When he realized what he had done, the blond flushed slightly, looking away. Clearing his throat, Rei said,

“I’m feeling tired as well. Why don’t we both sit, Nagisa-kun.” Before Nagisa could respond, the taller boy was taking a seat first.

“…Okay.” Hesitantly, Nagisa sat down next to Rei, taking off his backpack. 

For the remainder of the ride, they sat together in silence—Rei extremely conscious of the single centimeter’s space between their thighs. When the intercom announced his stop, Nagisa got up—leg accidentally brushing against Rei’s as he did. It was something that had happened all the time before, when they were on the way home from school.

“See you tomorrow, Rei-chan!” With a small smile, the blond was stepping off the train. The automatic doors slid shut, the train picking up its speed once more. 

Almost immediately after Nagisa left, Rei’s face and neck colored a brilliant shade of red. 

…

When he was home and in his room, Rei looked at the calendar hanging on the wall. 

Back when it was still July, he had drawn a circle around the first week of August. There was a star on August 1st, with the words ‘Nagisa-kun’s Birthday’ written in neat red letters. The seven days that marched after it were labeled ‘Joint Practice at Samezuka Academy’. 

Tomorrow would be the last day of swim practice. Unless they planned to meet up after that, Rei knew he would not be able to see Nagisa until school was back in session. 

Instead of reading his usual swim theory books before bed, Rei called it a night early. He lay on his bed to sleep and ended up lying awake for a long time, once again. A churning sensation formed at the bottom of his stomach as he stared at the dark ceiling, waiting for the morning to come.

…

_‘I like you.’_

He realized, perhaps more than he had on the first day, how much courage Nagisa must have needed to say those words. Now, Rei thought, he might understand why the blond had started to avoid him afterwards. He knew that Nagisa had been braver than he himself would ever be. 

Still, it was unfair.

Of course Rei had been shocked. Of course he hadn’t been able to respond right away, after what happened that night. Of course he hadn’t known how to react, or even, how he wanted things to be. After all, before Nagisa, Rei had never even had someone he could truly call a friend, much less a lover or even a love interest. How was he supposed to tell the difference between friendship and—and whatever this was that he felt now? 

To Rei, theories were easier. Equations and logic were easier. Feelings still _weren’t._ Thanks to having met Nagisa, then Haru and Makoto and even Rin, Rei was learning to _embrace_ them as well—but that didn’t make them any less tricky. Especially now—the emotions that came after Nagisa confessed, after his best friend avoided him for almost a whole week, were ones Rei had never before known in his life. And maybe that should have been enough to clue him in, but for the past six days Rei had been anything but composed enough to think rationally. 

Even now, as he stood on the train platform after the last practice with a quiet Nagisa, Rei was far from composed—his feelings a jumble of tangles and knots, just like how his stomach felt. He felt overly conscious of his own pulse, his own breathing, the sweat that was starting to form on his calloused palms.

To Rei, Nagisa was irreplaceable. Even he understood that much. If, as he was seeming to discover, that meant something different than what he had originally thought…

Then, even if he was a little scared for what might come, he would face it head-on. Clenching one sweaty palm into a determined fist, Rei took a deep breath, just as the train began entering their stop.

 

“I think I like you, too.”

 

 _Whoosh._ The compartments flashed by, their square windows flitting past Rei’s eyes like a reel of film, stirring up wind that made his hair flutter. As the train rolled to a stop, the intercom made its usual announcement, unaware of the words that hung in the air, over the three-feet gap that separated a certain pair of boys. 

_[The train bound for Iwatobi is now approaching. Please stand behind the yellow line…]_ Around them, the passengers stepped forward towards the line, preparing to board. 

At first, Rei thought Nagisa hadn’t heard him, because he didn’t look up right away. But just as the doors on the train slid open, Rei looked down—and saw the blond frozen to the spot, burgundy eyes round and wide, mouth fallen open, cheeks flushed with surprise.

Rei knew then that Nagisa had heard him, loud and clear. As both nervousness and a strange kind of relief hit him at once, Rei turned around. The brunet was the first to step onto the train—and when he noticed that Nagisa was still standing on the platform, he stuck out an arm and grabbed the blond’s hand with his own, gently tugging him on board. The smaller boy stumbled on just in time, as the doors slid closed almost immediately after. 

Rei didn’t realize he was still holding Nagisa’s hand until they were seated, right next to each other again. It was then that the brunet quickly let go, feeling his face turn red. Only when he opened his palm again did he realize how much sweatier it had gotten. 

He didn’t dare look down at Nagisa, heart thumping furiously in his chest as his violet eyes resolutely fixed themselves forward. The stray thoughts that flitted through his mind didn’t help, like how warm Nagisa’s hand had felt in his grasp, how nicely their hands had fit together for the space of what could only have been a few minutes.

Needless to say, the ride to Nagisa’s stop was quiet once more. 

One stop before the destination, Rei felt something warm press against his thigh. Looking down, he found the only thing that something could be—Nagisa’s own thigh. Immediately, the breath stuck in Rei’s throat. The blond had scooted closer to Rei in his seat—now their sides were flush with each other. Rei couldn’t see his friend’s face because it was ducked down, but he did notice the tips of Nagisa’s ears peeking out from his blonde locks. They were a bright pink. He also noticed Nagisa’s hands, his fingers nervously fiddling with the edge of his bright yellow shorts. Pushing aside the sudden thought that it was cute, Rei quickly faced forward again, swallowing—his heart dancing from the new warmth against his side. 

As the train rolled to a stop at Nagisa’s destination, Rei internally fumbled for a course of action to take. However, before he could think too hard, he felt a hand grab his, pull him up from his seat. Before he knew it, Nagisa was tugging him off the train. As the doors slid shut and the compartments rolled away, the blond released Rei’s hand, looking down at his feet. After a while, it was just the two of them left on the platform, the train having left for Rei’s stop. They stood in silence for a good five minutes—Rei’s voice refusing to materialize from his throat. 

“Are you sure?” 

When he finally heard Nagisa’s quiet voice, Rei froze. 

“I didn’t hear you wrong, did I?” Heart skipping a beat, the taller boy forced himself to meet Nagisa’s eyes. In them he could find the glimmer of both hope and uncertainty, as they seemed to search for something in Rei’s face. When he caught himself nodding wordlessly, Rei stopped. He remembered Makoto’s advice from a few days ago, that they should figure this out together. Opening his mouth, he willed his voice to come out instead—and it did, albeit a little more raspy than usual. 

“—What I meant when I said ‘I think’, Nagisa-kun.” As Nagisa heard these particular two words, the hope seemed to flicker in his eyes. Noticing this, Rei hurried on. 

“I—I’m not sure how it is with yourself, but as for me, I have no prior experience with romance. I have never held such feelings for anyone—at least, not any that I have been aware of. Nor have I ever been in a romantic relationship. In fact…I’m sure you must know, that I never even had anyone I could call a close friend, before you came along.” 

“Rei-chan…” As Nagisa’s eyes grew round, Rei continued.

“That is why, when you said that you…” When the brunet hesitated for a moment, Nagisa spoke up quietly.

“That I like you?” The mere four words sent butterflies through Rei’s stomach, as well as a surge of something that Rei thought might be happiness. Flushing slightly, the brunet nodded.

“…Yes. That,” he said lamely. “When you told me about your feelings, I wasn’t sure how to react. All this time I was sure I had only seen you as a good friend—was still getting used to having a close friend, even. That’s why, the first thing that crossed my mind when I was able to think straight was that I didn’t want things to change.” All at once, feelings that Rei himself hadn’t known about began pouring out, startling him in the process.

“When you first called me your friend and said that you would take responsibility, it made me very happy. All the times that I spent with you, learning to laugh and have fun and open myself up to others—they made me realize how much I liked having you by my side. So much changed for the better because you got me to join the swim team—and I was afraid of seeing all that change. More than anything else, I think…that I was afraid of losing the Nagisa-kun that I know.” 

As soon as he said this, another wave of relief washed over Rei. There it was—the root of the anxiety that he had been feeling these past seven days, all in one sentence. In the back of his mind, he wondered just what had taken him so long. There was something about being with Nagisa, facing the blond, that made words tumble out from Rei’s throat, almost like it was natural. 

Before him, the smaller boy’s eyes glistened.

“Rei-chan…” 

“That’s why, what you did was unfair.” Startled by the sudden turn in Rei’s words, Nagisa’s head snapped up slightly. “Starting to avoid me at swim practice after you confessed to me—even taking separate trains to do that—do you know how confused and conflicted I felt these past six days?” A bit of his frustration from the week poured out into his next words. “You said that you would face your troubles head-on, that you wouldn’t run away anymore. And yet, you were doing the same thing for the past week!” As if he was equally frustrated, Nagisa drew himself up, a frown on his face as he burst out,

 _“You_ were the one who didn’t say _anything_!” Biting his lip, the blond went on, hands clenching into tight fists. “It took all the guts I had to confess, and you wouldn’t say anything on the way home—you didn’t even say anything on the train the first day, or on the way back! Not even an ‘I’ll think about it’ or an ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I don’t know’—what was I supposed to think?! I was _scared,_ Rei-chan!” As Rei’s eyes widened, Nagisa’s started to water, the blond gritting his teeth as he held back his tears. 

“Sure, I avoided you, but the last time I avoided you, you still kept pulling me around to tell me what you thought! All that time I was starting to think that you were trying to come up the best way to reject me, or that maybe, you’d even stop being friends with me—I was starting to regret that I ever said anything to you in the first place! I thought I’d have to approach you first and tell you to forget about it! I thought—“ Tears started to roll down his cheeks, as his voice started to quiver. “I thought that you were relieved…that you really didn’t want anything to do with me anymore…!” As the blond started to sniff and wipe his tears, Rei stared at him for a long moment in silence. 

Only when Nagisa felt arms wrap around him did he realize that Rei had stepped forward. As the breath caught in his throat, Rei tugged him towards his body, firmly holding the smaller boy to his chest. 

“I would never think such a thing.” His voice was quiet, as he spoke into Nagisa’s hair. “You’re right. It was my fault too, for not saying anything. I’m sorry.” In his arms, he could feel the blond relax slightly, and continued. 

“It’s not—that I was put off your confession. Just that it was a little sudden for me, and unprecedented—and I just need time to figure things out. Because of that, maybe, I might have stopped myself from seeking you out and confronting you. But all the same—to be honest, when you avoided me, it hurt a little.” Rei sighed quietly. “Maybe it’s irresponsible and a little late of me to say this…but we might have even been able to talk things out earlier.” Reaching up with his hand, he gently stroke Nagisa’s hair in what he hoped was a comforting way. “It might have saved us both some grief, at least,” he said in a lighter tone, as Nagisa sniffed loudly into his shirt.

“…Sorry.” When the blond spoke in a muffled voice at last, Rei let out a soft breath of relief. “You’re right. It was unfair of me to avoid you like that, Rei-chan—I guess I was only thinking about myself again. I should’ve thought about your feelings too—I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions on my own.” Rei was startled when a finger stabbed his chest, as Nagisa looked up suddenly with a pout. “But you should remember—you were actively avoiding me once, too! Yesterday, when you came in for practice late—you were staring at me with this intense sleep-deprived look in the beginning, but after that you wouldn’t meet my eyes at all! You really had me worried, you know!” At that, Rei flushed before averting his eyes slightly.

“That was—! Just—I just happened to have an— _interesting_ breakthrough—and _you_ were avoiding me for _five_ days straight!” he added childishly, with a pout to match Nagisa’s. The blond’s mouth fell open in protest before he huffed and buried his face in Rei’s shirt once more.

“You’re such a hypocrite, Rei-chan! Whatever, just be quiet and let me be mad at you for a sec!” Rei was about to retort, but when he felt the blond’s fists tightening on his shirt, he thought better of it and kept quiet instead. For a long time they stood in silence—the brunet starting to look thoughtful as he rested his chin on Nagisa’s head. 

“You know, I did research.” While these words sounded exactly like what Rei would say, it created a great deal of confusion for Nagisa when paired with the situation at hand. Sensing his puzzlement, Rei began to explain. “On the subject of romantic feelings. It was only fitting, since I myself did not have the firsthand experience. I overslept and was late for practice the next day because of it. But…when I placed what I had learned next to my own experiences, both before and after your birthday, I…realized something interesting. That about half of what I read matched up, and the other half didn’t.” He could feel Nagisa frown against his shirt, which was now stained with tears and a little bit of snot.

“Just— _sniff_ —what have you been reading, Rei-chan?” In response, the brunet blushed.

“I, uh, may have referred to some of my brother’s old romance novels. And, er, some teen magazines that I bought at the convenience store. Of course, I did more theoretical research online, but as most of the sources were questionable, not to mention highly unprofessional—“ This time, Nagisa pulled away slightly from Rei’s chest, shooting him a puzzled look with eyes.

“So? Does that mean you like me or not?” Immediately, Rei blushed hard—and even in his moment of uncertainty, the fact that he himself had elicited this reaction delighted Nagisa to no end. 

“I…although the research was inconclusive, I have been thinking about it deeply for the last couple of days, and based off the feelings towards you that I am sure of, as well as my own actions during the week—“ The blond listened patiently as Rei continued his lengthy explanation in a nervous voice. “I…believe I was correct in the conclusion I have drawn for myself.” The blush on his cheeks darkened as he continued, in a somewhat smaller voice than before. “Namely…the answer that I gave you before we boarded the evening train today.” Immediately, a strong feeling of warmth shot through Nagisa’s heart. Before he could start dancing from giddy happiness, however, Rei continued in a soft voice.

“What I know with absolute certainty…is that I don’t like seeing you cry. And, although it can wear on my nerves a little sometimes, I like seeing you in your usual cheer—loud shouting, body slams, and relentless teasing included.” As Nagisa pouted slightly at him, Rei chuckled a little before continuing. 

“But whichever state you may be in, I wish to stay by your side. I want to be there to comfort you when you are sad, and smile with you when you are happy. You've already changed my world on so many levels, that in comparison it might hardly be returning the favor, but all the same. And I myself have been coming to think...that I would like it if I were special to you, in the same way.” He stopped to clear his throat, eyes looking everywhere but Nagisa. “If...if that's what it means to like someone...then I am certain that I do indeed like you a lot." The way Rei's voice grew quiet at the end of the sentence made Nagisa's heart flutter. 

"I'm sorry for making you feel scared these past few days. And I'm sorry that it took me so long to answer you. I hope you would forgive me. And also, thank you, Nagisa-kun—for being brave, and more honest with me than with anyone else. That’s why…please don't say that you should have hid your feelings from me, or that you wish for me to forget about them.” Slowly, Rei reached over to hold Nagisa’s hand in his, giving it a squeeze. “After all that’s happened...I hope that you won't mind guiding me from hereon." Pulling away, Rei looked the blond straight in the eye.

"Please go out with me, Nagisa-kun." 

For a moment, all Nagisa could do was to stare at Rei open-mouthed. After a while, when the words finally sunk in, the smaller boy opened his mouth, voice sounding a little faint. 

"You...are you serious, Rei-chan?" he asked hesitantly. "You do know what that means, don't you? You''ll have to hold my hand, and go on dates with me, and probably treat me to a lot of ice cream cones—and eventually, I'll even try to kiss you." At the last comment, Rei flushed a deep red. Feeling his face warm as well, the blonde went on. "And we're both guys, on top of that!" In response, Rei raised a brow.

"With all due respect, Nagisa-kun—haven't we come a bit far for you to mention that now?" As Nagisa blushed harder, the brunet let out a soft chuckle. "Well, I hardly _did_ expect my first romantic interest to form towards a male person—I even read a few books on the different types of sexuality, to…to understand things better,” he admitted. “But I guess, that in the end…it was not as great of a concern to me as I might have expected." His gaze softened as he looked at Nagisa. "Strange, isn't it? But then again, you were always someone who pulled me away from my expectations. Logic never seems to win over you." 

Suddenly, Nagisa remembered what Gou had told him once—that Rei had said love was illogical and something he would never catch himself. Feeling five times shyer, the smaller boy quickly ducked his head, hiding his face in Rei' shirt.

"Are you trying to flirt with me already, Rei-chan?" he mumbled. As Rei's own blush grew heavier, the blond continued in a quieter voice. 

"Actually...I didn't think much about what comes after. Just...I was feeling really happy after my birthday party, and I was thinking again how happy you make me...and then, all of a sudden, I just really wanted to tell you how I felt." Rei blinked—so Nagisa had not planned his confession in advance. But then again, that was just like him—that spontaneous part of him was one of the things Rei liked about him, after all. "Though I guess that I might've had a better chance if I had it all planned out, with candlelight and music and roses and a whole speech planned out." Sensing the playfulness in his tone, Rei sighed slightly.

"Just what do you take me for, Nagisa-kun? And roses and candles are expensive—hardly something a high school student should be spending money on, when it's the message that matters the most." Although, if he were being entirely honest, Rei probably would have been touched by the beauty of such a gesture—but in no way did that mean that Nagisa's confession at the playground was any less touching. In fact, the latter suited Nagisa much more—and, despite all the tension and doubts and second-guessing Rei had lost sleep over, the brunet was starting to feel glad that it had happened the way it did. 

"I know, Rei-chan," Nagisa replied, smiling into Rei's shirt. "You do know how to appreciate feelings as much as beautiful things.” He paused for a moment. “I guess that, in the end, a part of me didn't really expect you to say yes. After all, you didn't seem like the type to be interested in romance—and, well...even if you were interested, I thought you'd want someone more like you instead. Someone who's smarter and more mature. Not someone like me..." Upon hearing these words, a frown formed on Rei's face, and his arms around Nagisa tightened, drawing the boy closer. 

"Please don’t get me started, Nagisa-kun—you _are_ smart, and there are moments when I think you’re more mature than anyone else. That better not be self-deprecation I'm hearing—I wouldn't even be here right now, if it hadn't been for you. And I have never asked anyone else out in my life, so please give yourself more credit." A minute of silence passed before Rei realized that Nagisa was trying to hold back more tears.

"Thanks, Rei-chan." As the blond's shoulders started to shake, Rei thought he could feel the dampness on his shirt growing. "I really, _really_ like you." The breath stuck in Rei's throat at the repeated confession. Feeling too overwhelmed to do much else, the brunet squeezed his eyes shut and rested his cheek against Nagisa's hair. Just as the blond had done, he repeated the words that had been on his mind for days.

 

"I like you a lot, too."

 

…

While Rei didn’t remember much about how they had gotten home that night, he would always remember the feeling of Nagisa’s hand in his—how perfectly their hands had slotted together, how all of him had felt warm from just their palms pressing together. And of course, Rei would never forget the soft smile Nagisa had given him before going into his house. 

The whole time he’d walked back to his apartment, Rei was smiling so hard that his cheeks started to hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time skip in the next chap!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some implied intimacy in this chapter, but nothing explicit. Hope you guys like it! :)

**-Present, Two Years Later-**

 

_‘I really, really like you.’_

When he felt the heat concentrated on his cheek, Rei woke up. Bleary eyes fluttering open, the brunet squinted at the gap in the blinds that was letting in the single beam of sunlight. Remembering that a certain someone had accidentally bent one of the strips the other week, Rei groaned and shifted so that his face was turned away from the window. As soon as he did, he felt something warm and soft stir in his arms, against his bare skin. 

Since it was summer, the morning sun was strong enough to light up the small bedroom, even with all the blinds down. The room was still a little dim and his glasses were off, but Rei could still make out Nagisa’s long lashes fluttering slightly, as the blond shifted on the mattress and curled up closer to him. He looked just like an angel, Rei thought, with his golden blonde hair falling gently over his forehead, the soft curves of his cheeks rising and falling as his small mouth breathed in and out, making his chest heave against Rei’s. The bare shoulders that peeked out from under their light summer blanket made the taller boy blush. For a moment, Rei moved his eyes elsewhere, pretending to be extremely interested in the pattern of the blanket. It was yellow, with a pattern of rockhopper penguins printed all over it—bright and lively, just like its owner. An affectionate smile dawned on Rei’s lips—he moved his eyes back towards the sleeping blond, who let out small sigh as he snuggled his head against Rei’s shoulder. 

“…Ish my burstday, Rei-cha…” As Nagisa murmured these words in his sleep, Rei blinked. “—you said you’d…do anything I want…hmm…” 

Slowly, Rei let his eyes travel to the penguin-themed calendar that hung on the bedroom wall. A gaudy array of flowers and stars and hearts had been drawn around August 1st, with the words ‘My Birthday!’ written in large block letters. Looking away from the calendar, Rei turned his attention towards the yellow alarm clock on the dresser and froze. It was already ten in the morning—and when he had planned to rise early and cook the perfect birthday breakfast. 

Groaning quietly, Rei looked back at Nagisa—taking a moment to appreciate his boyfriend’s sleeping face. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth once more, and Rei carefully leaned down to press a soft kiss to his hair. Nearly melting when Nagisa’s grin widened, he slowly withdrew his arms from the boy and slipped off the bed. He heard the blond whine sleepily as he turned over. Quickly, Rei knelt down and collected his clothes from the floor. Padding softly out of Nagisa’s room, the brunet headed for his own, dropping his clothes into the laundry basket on the way. 

Almost two years had passed since they had first started dating. Rei remembered the dream he had last night, about the time that Nagisa had first confessed to him. It had been a long dream, ending just after the moment they had finally worked things out together on the train platform. After that had come all the summer dates, with all the fast-melting ice cream cones and sweaty hand-holding, all the horror movies and game centers and even the occasional trips to the public library, courtesy of both Nagisa’s consideration for Rei and his need to finish the huge pile of summer homework he had been putting off. 

Rei remembered the first kiss they had shared together on one of those days. The blond had been frowning and pouting adorably as he tried to solve the same math problem for the fifth time—and before he knew it, he was leaning across the table, gently brushing their lips together. For all the boldness he usually showed, the older boy had been a blushing, stuttering mess when he pulled away. Rei had even thought Nagisa was mad at him, he had been so quiet on their way home. He still remembered how embarrassed and happy he had felt when, on his doorstep, Nagisa suddenly whirled around and tugged him down for a second kiss. True, it had initially given him a heart attack, and then a second one as he scanned the vicinity to see if anyone had seen, but to Rei it was a fond memory, one he would keep close with him for good. 

As he was brushing his teeth after a quick shower, Rei found himself staring at the items on the bathroom sink. A bar of strawberry-shaped soap next to a plain one, a matching set of polka-dotted gargle cups, one yellow and the other purple, and a tube of strawberry-scented toothpaste leaning against one that was labeled ‘Beautiful Breath’. A penguin-shaped toothbrush holder attached to the mirror, snug against the butterfly-shaped holder right next to it. They were all items that Rei had grown used to seeing every morning in the past half-year, but it still made him happy to see them together, side by side. Of course, Nagisa tended to leave his items lying around everywhere much of the time—just yesterday Rei had tidied up their sink during his nervous cleaning frenzy in the afternoon. As for what had made him so nervous…well, he would never admit the truth to Nagisa. Straightening up, the brunet spat out his toothpaste and rinsed his mouth with water. Soon, he was in the small kitchen that was adjoined with the living room, pulling on his plain purple apron and getting to work. 

When Rei looked back on it, the days until their high school graduation had passed surprisingly quickly. Before they knew it, he and Nagisa had taken over the swim club as vice-captain and captain, had managed to recruit a handful of underclassmen who were just as odd a bunch as them, had gone to nationals the following summer. In-between had been Haru and Makoto’s graduation, along with Rin and Sousuke’s—all four of them had come to nationals to watch the swim team compete. While they hadn’t placed first, they had made it to third place and had been awarded a bronze trophy, one that their underclassmen had insisted they take. It now stood proud and shiny on one of the shelves in their small apartment, Rei taking care to polish it every now and then. 

In their third year, they had almost broken up. Rei and Nagisa were in separate classes that year, both of them busy with preparing for entrance exams, and had not been able to see each other as often. In the face of stress about the future and their prolonged absences away from each other, more than a few doubts and misunderstandings had risen to the surface. But in the end, they had been able to work things out together and strengthen their relationship. In a life that he now couldn’t imagine without Nagisa, Rei would always be grateful for that. 

Eventually, when both of them got into two different colleges in Tokyo, they held three celebrations—one with Gou and their underclassmen, another with their families, and the third with just the two of them. It was on that date that Rei had asked Nagisa to move in with him once they were in Tokyo. And because the blond had given the answer that he did, here they were now. After that had come the challenges of living together, along with juggling college work, part-time jobs, and making time for each other. But with Nagisa by his side, it had all been worth it—in this unfamiliar city environment, they had reminded each other that it was okay to stay the same as they had been, but also okay to change with time. And the experience they had shared with each other last night had been a little bit of both. Like with many things when it came to Nagisa, Rei was glad that it had happened the way it did.

Just as Rei flipped the last of the Iwatobi-chan pancakes (made by pressing the Iwatobi-chan cookie cutter Nagisa had won at a raffle, just slightly into the dough’s surface at the half-cooked stage), he heard a sleepy yawn and the padding of footsteps from behind him. Putting the pan down, Rei turned to say good morning—and almost dropped his spatula. 

His boyfriend was standing with one hand on the wall, the other covered by the white sleeve of an oversized sweater. Namely, _Rei’s_ sweater—the one that said ‘butter’ in large block letters. And, from the smooth, bare legs that peeked out from under its hem, _just_ his sweater. Normally, Rei would have lectured Nagisa for wearing his clothes—and by a normal situation meaning one where Nagisa also had his pants on—but seeing his boyfriend smile at him, eyes crinkling and cheeks slightly rosy and dimpled, skin seeming to glow, made the words die in his throat. As Rei’s face colored red, the blond opened his mouth and said in a cheerful voice,

“Morning, Rei-chan!” His eyes sparkled. “Are those pancakes I smell?” 

“Y-yes.” Coughing to clear his throat, Rei readjusted his glasses, his ears starting to turn pink. “I’m making the Iwatobi-chan ones—although at this rate, after I finish the eggs and bacon, it will be more of a brunch than breakfast—“ 

“You’re making _bacon,_ Rei-chan?!” Nagisa squealed happily. “You never make bacon, _ever!_ You always said it’s bad for my health with all the fat and salt and grease on it and _‘You’ll die ten years early if you eat one tiny slice, Nagisa-kun’_ —“ Hearing the impersonation Nagisa threw in at the end, Rei frowned slightly.

“I never said such a thing, Nagisa-kun—all I said was that you shouldn’t eat so much of it so often, and that a more balanced diet would help ensure tha—“ When his eyes coincidentally fell on the living room, Rei froze. His eyes flickered towards the blinds he had opened earlier, then back at Nagisa, who was still only dressed in a sweatshirt and nothing else. _“Oh my god!”_ Squawking in an undignified fashion, the brunet did drop the spatula, hurrying over to the windows to pull down all the blinds. 

“What’s wrong, Rei-chan?” As Nagisa cocked his head quizzically, Rei finished his work and shot back around, his glasses askew and his face a matching shade of red. 

“The blinds were open— _anyone_ could have seen you just now!” Along with secondhand embarrassment, a flare of protectiveness swelled in Rei’s chest. “And please, do shower and get dressed!” At this response, Nagisa pouted.

“But I wore this _especially_ for Rei-chan!” he complained. “It was hard work too, finding it from your bottom drawer—and ‘cause Gou-chan said that long-sleeved sweaters would look sexier—“ Since it was currently summer, all of Rei’s fall and winter clothing were stored in the bottom drawer of his dresser and—wait, when had Nagisa even gone into his room? Just now? Rei sensed that he had probably been too occupied with reminiscing over the past as he was making pancakes—it was a miracle, really, that he hadn't burnt any of them yet. But that wasn't the greatest issue at hand, Rei realized, as his mind replayed the words Nagisa had just said. 

"—Wait, you consulted _Gou-san_ about this?!" he croaked. To Rei’s horror, Nagisa nodded, putting a finger to his cheek thoughtfully.

“Well, she was the only one who’d give me any advice—when I called Haru-chan he hung up, when I called Rin-chan he told me to ‘figure that shit out on my own’, and I think I actually made Mako-chan faint when I called him up—“ He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Actually, Gou-chan just told me to prance out naked so I could ‘showcase all my muscles’, but then I told her about your no-naked house rule and then she said at least wear something that still shows my calf muscles, so—“ 

“You called _all of them?!”_ When Rei burst out in the middle of his explanation, Nagisa cocked his head innocently.

“Yeah, I even asked Ai-chan about it! Although he was stuttering for most of the call, so I didn’t really catch what he was saying—“

 _“Nagisa-kun!!”_ In response, Nagisa burst into laughter, quickly waltzing towards the bathroom. Sighing, Rei turned back to his pan—“No!” And was horrified to find that the pancake was burning. Hurriedly, he turned the gas down on the burner and flipped it out of the pan onto a spare plate. To his relief, it was only a little burnt—wasting food was hardly beautiful, after all. Deciding he would eat it himself, Rei resigned himself to making another one. At least the others had turned out a perfect golden-brown—although the brunet knew that Nagisa wouldn’t have minded even if they were a little burnt. 

He had moved on to the eggs and bacon when he heard footsteps waddle into the kitchen. Before he could turn around, however, Rei felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind—followed by a warm torso pressing against his back. As he heard Nagisa hum pleasantly, Rei felt the blond’s chest vibrate against him. From the wet, slightly tickly sensation against the nape of his neck, Rei knew that the blond hadn’t dried his hair yet. Blushing, he looked down and noticed that Nagisa’s arms were clad in purple. Namely, purple with a familiar butterfly pattern. He was wearing Rei’s pajamas. As Rei’s mind debated between scolding Nagisa and telling him to set the table, his boyfriend spoke first.

“Aww, Rei-chan, at least say _something!”_ Rei could almost _hear_ Nagisa pouting through his voice. “I’ve pulled _two_ seduction moves on you already, and still no dice?” Sputtering, Rei nearly dropped his spatula as he turned a second shade of red.

“I-isn’t it a bit early in the day for seduction?” He tried to keep his voice calm as he flipped the egg with his spatula. “And I see you’re wearing my clothes again.” For the moment he didn’t look down to see if Nagisa was wearing any bottoms this time.

“Nope! And it’s my birthday, Rei-chan—you can cut me slack just this once! And I’m even wearing shorts under it, too!” The kind that came a good distance above the knees, Rei found, when the blond decided to jump up and cling to Rei with his legs as well. Glasses askew as he staggered forward, the brunet fought to keep his voice as stern as possible.

“Please get off me, Nagisa-kun—it’s dangerous to do such things near the burner,” he scolded, not realizing that he was unconsciously looking out for his boyfriend’s safety. His gesture didn’t slip past Nagisa unnoticed, however—the blond’s eyes softened a little before he pouted again, dropping off Rei’s back.

 _“Hmph_ —you’re so cold, Rei-chan!” As he murmured these words, he turned and started trotting towards the table.

“You were beautiful.” Eyes rounding, Nagisa turned around to face Rei, who was still facing the burner. His ears, however, were a very noticeable red, as he turned the egg over in the pan. “I mean, you still _are_ —“ Coughing, Rei said in an embarrassed voice, “Happy Birthday, Nagisa-kun.” For a moment Nagisa stared open-mouthed at his boyfriend, before a glowing smile spread across his face. 

“Rei-chan!!” Shouting happily, the blond turned to tackle Rei with a hug—and winced as he almost tripped. “Woah!” Hearing the exclamation, Rei turned around and saw Nagisa grabbing onto the counter. 

“What’s wrong, Nagisa-kun?” In response, his boyfriend smiled sheepishly.

“Guess I moved too fast—“ He scratched his cheek a little shyly. “It actually…kind of hurts when I walk.” At this short explanation, Rei’s face colored a deep red. Now that he thought about it, his boyfriend had been leaning a hand against the wall earlier. So it hadn’t been for presentation’s sake…

Soon, Nagisa heard footsteps walk towards him.

“Why didn’t you say so earlier,” Rei scolded gently, stopping before the blond. “You shouldn’t be pushing yourself, if that’s the case.” 

“It’s not that big of a deal, Rei-chan! After all, the apartment’s small—not much space to walk around in, anyways—“ Before Nagisa could finish, however, he felt Rei’s hands tuck themselves gently under his arms. With a small noise of surprise, the blond was lifted slightly off the floor, and he felt himself being carried back towards the kitchen table. Walking around the back of the table Rei stopped in front of the chair with the cushioned seat. He carefully put Nagisa down on its seat before stepping away. 

“Please sit still while I take care of breakfast. And don’t worry about setting the table.” With an upward push of his glasses, Rei was heading back to the kitchen. Back behind the table, Nagisa blinked his eyes a few times, before looking at his lap and smiling widely. 

He was swinging his legs and humming the birthday song to himself when Rei returned. In his hands were two plates, one with a fluffy golden stack of Iwatobi-chan pancakes with whipped cream and syrup and strawberries on top, and another with a pile of warm puffy-looking scrambled eggs, sizzled bacon and juicy-looking octopus wieners, with a plentiful helping of salad on the side. 

“This’ll be brunch, Nagisa-kun,” the brunet clarified, as he set both plates and silverware down in front of a delighted-looking Nagisa. “And please finish all the salad too—” 

“Thanks for the meal!” Before Rei could finish, Nagisa was plunging into the tower of pancakes like a lion devouring its prey. Sighing, Rei allowed a helpless smile as he went to the kitchen to fetch his own more modest stack. What he had just cooked would have scandalized him normally, what with all the fat and sugar and calories, but he supposed that the birthday boy _should_ get to pick what he wanted to eat on his day. At least Nagisa had an almost inhuman metabolism, which Rei sometimes thought should be taken down in history as one of God’s miracles. Already the brunet worried for Nagisa’s old age—and these worries were usually followed by a train of thoughts that included visualizing _himself_ looking after the blond’s health, well into their golden years. Cheeks feeling warm, Rei went back to the kitchen once more, to fetch the glasses of orange juice he’d poured for the both of them. 

“Mmmm, these taste _really_ good, Rei-chan!” he heard his boyfriend gush from the table. “You should quit math and major in cooking instead!” Rei laughed.

“As much as I enjoy cooking, I don’t see that happening anytime soon, Nagisa-kun.” Despite his worries about health, seeing Nagisa munch on his breakfast so happily brought a smile to Rei’s face. He sat down at the table, setting the glasses down and picking up his own fork. Except for the pancake he had burnt slightly, they were pretty darn delicious, if Rei said so himself. “Although I do admit that I might have outdone myself this time!” As his chest puffed up with pride, Nagisa spoke up while chewing on his food at the same time.

“You were really cute yesterday too, Rei-chan!” As Rei nearly dropped his fork, the blond continued cheerfully. “I mean, the way you were sweating and talking about all the research you did before, how you were totally prepared to either top or bottom depending on my choice and had all the right theories down—it was adorable how much you were panicking!” Coughing on his food, Rei thumped his chest with one fist as he shot his giggling boyfriend an indignant look.

“I-I was not panicking! I was simply informing you that I would do my best to—to give you the most pleasurable experience possible!” the red-faced brunet sputtered. “O-Of course, I may have been a tad bit nervous, b-but I can’t have been the only one!” Across the table, Nagisa’s smile softened.

“Of course I was—it was my first time, too. And it was with Rei-chan, not anyone else.” As the statement drew more red from Rei’s cheeks, a hand reached across the table and warmly wrapped around his. “Thanks for treating me gently, Rei-chan.” A good amount of time had passed since their graduation, and still the blond felt like a high-schooler all over again, his heart dancing as Rei’s face erupted into flames. Wanting to prolong the blush, Nagisa half-jokingly added, “Looking forward to the second round tonight!” The result was Rei batting his hand away, a slight reprimanding frown on his face as his blush darkened even more.

“Absolutely not, Nagisa-kun. Please think about your body.” The last sentence was grumbled in a soft tone that Nagisa knew only surfaced when Rei was worried about him. Feeling a sudden rush of affection, the blond stood up from his seat and slung his arms around Rei’s shoulders, nuzzling his head against his boyfriend’s neck.

“You’re the best, Rei-chan~!” “Nagisa-kun! At least put the fork down first— _aaaaahhh!!”_

…

One sheepish apology, strawberry-patterned bandaid, and get-well kiss to the nape later, the two of them proceeded to finish breakfast. After clearing both his plates of everything, even the salad, and stealing a few pancakes off Rei’s plate, Nagisa sat on their small secondhand couch in the living room while Rei washed the dishes. 

“So when are we gonna go to the aquarium, Rei-chan?” he asked, eyes shining with excitement. “I heard it’s three times as big as the one in Iwatobi, and this one _actually_ has rockhopper penguins too!”

“You’d have to walk a lot, Nagisa-kun—and you said it hurts to walk.” Rei’s cheeks turned a bit pink as he turned off the tap and tucked the last of the dishes into the metal basket. “I think you should rest for the day.”

“Huh~?! But I was looking forward to going today! And you even rode the subway for an hour to purchase those tickets!” 

“Well, they _are_ going to be usable for any other day of the week,” Rei replied, taking his rubber gloves off and hanging them under the cabinet. “Knowing you, you’ll be running around to see all the exhibits—I’m sure you’ll have a better time if we go a few days later. We could even eat out then, as a late celebration.” In response Nagisa’s face lit up.

“Really? You’re the best, Rei-chan!” 

“It’s really just how the aquarium works, Nagisa-kun,” Rei replied modestly, but Nagisa could tell he was smiling. 

“What’re we gonna do in the apartment all day, though?” the blond said thoughtfully, as he flopped down against the couch cushions. “Video games? Making out?” To his credit, Rei only blushed a little. “Or a horror movie marathon? Oh right, I borrowed that whole bunch of DVD’s from the corner rent shop a few days ago!” Soon enough, the blush on Rei’s face was replaced by a blanched look. 

“How many this time, Nagisa-kun?” he asked weakly, the sweat already starting to form on his brow.

“Ten!” Nagisa replied cheerfully. “We could watch all of them in one day—ah, but I guess since it’s daytime now we should wait ‘til it gets dark! These living room blinds kind of suck at keeping sunlight out, after all!” 

“Don’t tell me you plan to stay up _all night?”_ Rei croaked.

“I am!” Nagisa replied, eyes round and innocent. “Blood and guts galore ‘til dawn!”

“THAT’S NOT BEAUTIFUL!!” As Rei threw his head back and wailed in despair, the blond fell into a fit of giggles on the sofa. Hearing his laughter, Rei turned his disgruntled violet eyes towards his boyfriend, a pout on his face—a behavior he had picked up from Nagisa himself.

“Three movies tops, Nagisa-kun—it’s bad for your eye health to watch so many at once! Not to mention that exposing your eyes to so much LED light before bed hinders your sleep—“

“Five, Rei-chan! It’s my birthday, after all!” Aiming his trademark puppy eyes at Rei, Nagisa waited. One, two, three, four…

“—All right, then. Five it is.” As Nagisa let out a cheer, Rei fought to keep the frown on his face, failing for the most part. “Only for today, understand?” 

“Of course, Rei-chan!” Sighing, Rei turned to the refrigerator, fanning himself slightly as he did. 

On the third week of August, they would make the train trip to Iwatobi together, to spend about two weeks with their families before college was back in session. The reason they were returning home so late was because they both had part-time jobs in Tokyo—and until then, they would have to spend the summer in their small AC-free apartment. Since the summer heat had hit Tokyo around a month and a half ago, Rei supposed he had at least gotten more used to it than in the beginning. Of course Nagisa would complain about the heat more often, plugging in the rusty fan that they had purchased at a secondhand electronics store and whining into its cage as the blades revolved within—although Rei suspected he did that more to hear the sound of his warped voice. Pulling the collar of his shirt down a little, the brunet opened the fridge and reached in for the water pitcher—

And noticed that they had almost run out of eggs. And vegetables. Suddenly, Rei remembered that he had meant to go grocery shopping the day before—he realized that he must have forgotten, in his frenzy to clean the apartment. And he needed more ingredients for the birthday dinner he was going to make that night. Forgetting about the water, Rei closed the refrigerator door and straightened up. 

"We're out of groceries, Nagisa-kun. I'll go to the mart to purchase them—"

"Oh! Can I go too, Rei-chan? We're out of strawberry ice cream too—and I think they're still doing that raffle for that vacation to Hawaii by the convenience store!" In response Rei threw Nagisa a dubious look.

"But Nagisa-kun, you can't walk right now—if it’s ice cream, I can just get it myself—"

"But what about the raffle? You can't do that for me, Rei-chan, you have zero luck when it comes to raffles!" Nagisa said, pouting. "And it ends today, too—no one's won the grand prize yet! I'm dead sure I'll be able to win it, with my birthday luck!" he chirped, pumping his fists down enthusiastically with a sparkle in his eyes.

"Birthday luck?" Rei repeated, raising a brow. "You know such a thing can't logically exist, Nagisa-kun—"

"Oh, but it does, Rei-chan!" Nagisa replied cheerfully. "On my first birthday, I was born healthy, on my fifteenth birthday, Mom said she'd let me go to Iwatobi High, and on my seventeenth birthday I confessed to you! So I'm pretty darn sure it _does_ exist!" Rei blushed.

"I...I didn't answer you right away, though." In response, Nagisa’s smile softened.

“But if you hadn’t, where would we be now?” As Rei blinked, the blond hopped off the couch. “Time to dress, then! I’ll be out in just a sec, Rei-chan!” 

“Wait—don’t rush—“ Rei called out hurriedly.

“Haha, I’m fine, Rei-chan— _ow, ow, ow!”_ As Nagisa hopped towards his bedroom, the brunet sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Having known the blond for over three years now, it seemed to Rei that Nagisa was always either surprisingly mature or less-surprisingly childish—there was rarely any in-between. Instinctively knowing there was no stopping his boyfriend, Rei gave up and headed for his own bedroom to change. He just hoped that Nagisa wouldn’t push himself too hard by running around everywhere once they were outside.

…

“I _told_ you not to run after it, Nagisa-kun!”

They were making their way around the corner, Rei piggy-backing Nagisa five minutes after they’d left their apartment. In response Nagisa laughed sheepishly against Rei’s neck.

“Sorry, Rei-chan, I kinda got excited—but that puppy was too cute to pass up!” Rei groaned.

“Please, Nagisa-kun—you’re not five, you’re nineteen. And I told you not to push yourself!” He could almost sense Nagisa pouting, as the boy puffed his cheeks out.

 _“Hmph_ —it’s Rei-chan’s fault that my butt hurts in the first place!” he murmured childishly, almost making Rei choke on his spit. 

_“Cough, cough_ —Nagisa-kun!” the brunet croaked, as a group of giggling girls passed them by. Turning red, Rei ducked his head to the left in embarrassment, away from the other pedestrians. 

“Are you gonna use a shopping cart, Rei-chan? Then I can ride in that!” Nagisa continued cheerfully. “Man, it’s been forever since the last time—after I got in trouble with the management for running that cart into the squid tank that one time, Mom never took me along to the grocery store anymore!” 

“—I’m hoping that this was when you were at the most ten?” Rei murmured dryly. Over the semester they had gone grocery shopping together, and the most problematic thing Nagisa had ever done was to fill a whole cart with strawberry snacks and attempt to wheel it to checkout when Rei wasn’t looking. But then again, that in itself had been childish enough. 

“Eleven!” Nagisa corrected cheerfully. “But don’t worry, Rei-chan—I can’t move around like that now, so you’re either gonna have to carry me or cart me around everywhere!” 

“—Ah, now that I recall, there might have been a child care center at the mart—“ As Rei pretended to muse over the option, the blond pouted and nuzzled his head against Rei’s neck.

“Rei~~chaaaan~~!!” Laughing, Rei stopped to hoist Nagisa up, making his hold more secure before he resumed walking. 

…

In the end, Nagisa ended up sitting down on one of the benches outside, while Rei went into make his rounds ( _“No fair, Rei-chan gets all the air-conditioning while I have to sit out in the heat!” “You were the one who insisted on coming along, Nagisa-kun!”_ ). For the first fifteen minutes of his wait, he hummed some catchy commercial tunes to keep himself occupied, resisting the temptation to wander around the area. As he leaned against the store wall and idly swung his feet back and forth, three kids who looked around kindergarten age approached him with curious eyes.

“Penguin onii-chan!” one of them, a girl in an orange sundress, stepped forward and tugged on Nagisa’s shorts. “Why was that onii-chan with the glasses carrying you?” Blinking, Nagisa looked down at his rockhopper penguin shirt, then grinned at the girl.

“Because Rei-chan likes me a lot!” he replied cheerfully, with a wink. “So much that he carries me around everywhere at my command! Isn’t that great?” 

“But he’s a boy!” one of the other children, a boy in a cap, pointed out. “Don’t you want a girlfriend?” The blond chuckled good-naturedly.

“Nope! I just want Rei-chan,” he said. “I’m sure I’d always choose Rei-chan, whether he was male or female.” Before him, the girl in the sundress cocked her head thoughtfully.

“But if Rei-chan onii-chan was a girl, then he wouldn’t be able to carry you!” At that Nagisa laughed.

“Oh, I don’t know—Rei-chan’s always been really strong. I’m sure he’d be able to carry me even if he was a girl!” A brief imagination of what Rei might have looked like as a girl passed through Nagisa’s mind—but he didn’t linger on it for too long. After all, the Rei that was with him now was the only one he had eyes for. 

“Just who is a girl now, Nagisa-kun?” Blinking with surprise, Nagisa turned to see Rei. His brows were furrowed slightly and his hands were pushing up his glasses, as if to mask his embarrassment. “And just what are you telling these children?” Nagisa wondered just how much of the conversation he had heard—but before he could ask, another voice piped up first.

“It’s Rei-chan-onii-chan!” The girl in the sundress ran towards Rei with a smile on her face. “You look so tall up close!” 

_“Tch,_ I’ll get taller when _I’m_ an adult, Rei-chan-nii-chan!” her brother declared, puffing out his chest. 

“Huh—wait, _two_ ‘chans’?!” As the two children chattered away before Rei, Nagisa laughed from the side. 

“Onee-chan~!” The third child, a boy who looked younger than his other two siblings, spoke up. I want Mama~!” he whined, as he tugged on his older sister’s dress. “Where’s Mama~?”

“Eh?!” The girl scratched her cheek in what Nagisa perceived to be a nervous fashion. “Um…where was she again~?” At this unsure reply, her younger brother looked like he would burst into tears any minute. 

“You got separated from your mother?” Rei asked, leaning over with concern. 

“We were trying to find her inside the grocery store a while ago,” the boy in the cap explained. “It’s all because Nee-chan was running around looking for the ice cream section!”

“N-no, it’s not!” As his sister protested, her little brother started crying, sobbing loudly as he did. 

“E-Eh?! Don’t cry!” Nagisa said hurriedly. “Um~! What should we do, Rei-chan?!”

“Eh?! Um—we should ask the management to make an announcement!” Rei exclaimed. “I’m sure they deal with lost children all the time—“

“WE’RE LOOOOOSTTT!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” As the youngest child wailed even louder, both Rei and Nagisa started to panic.

“Wh-what should we do, Nagisa-kun?!” 

“I-I don’t know, Rei-chan!! I’m the youngest in my family, I never even babysat anyone before!!” 

“B-but I’m the youngest too!!” 

“H-hold up!! You bought the ice cream, right?! Ah, there it is! Hey, buddy, have some of onii-chan’s ice cream!...”

…

Eventually, after reporting the lost children to management, Rei and Nagisa took them to the child care center and played with them for a short while. By the time their parents arrived, the children had completely taken to them, especially Rei (because he was easy to tease, Nagisa cheerfully suspected). All throughout the play session they had fussed over the brunet, clinging to his legs and shouting things at him. Although it had been a little exhausting, both Rei and Nagisa had fun looking after them.

Some time afterwards, the two of them sat outside the grocery store, where Nagisa had initially been waiting. In each of their hands was an ice cream cone, Nagisa’s strawberry and Rei’s blueberry flavored. Their hands were overlapped, resting on the space between their groceries and the wall.

“It was nice of those kids’ parents to treat us, don’t you think, Rei-chan?” the older boy said cheerfully, as he licked his strawberry ice cream. “They even waited for you to get through checkout!” 

“Yes,” Rei agreed, smiling absently as he bit off some of his own ice cream. “Even though they really didn’t need to go through the trouble…” During their brief stop at the ice cream parlor inside, the youngest child had even fallen asleep again on Rei’s back, a peaceful smile on his face. Even now Rei didn’t seem to mind that the back of his shirt had a bit of drool on it.

“Those kids really liked you, didn’t they, ‘Rei-chan onii-chan?’” Nagisa commented, leaning over slightly while propping his cheek on one hand, a smile on his face. “They were hovering around you just like Ren-chan and Ran-chan do.” At the mention of Ran and Ren, Rei’s smile softened further.

“Although I’m not sure what I did to gain their affections,” he replied. “It’s—touching. Before, I never expected children to be so friendly with me.”

“It’s because children are good at reading people,” Nagisa replied, chuckling. “They can see right past all your nagging, Tsunde _rei_ -chan! Just like I can,” he added in a teasing voice.

“I’m not a _tsundere,_ Nagisa-kun!” Huffing slightly, Rei averted his eyes, his cheeks slightly tinting pink. 

“Right, Rei-chan! At least you’re not as bad as Haru-chan and Rin-chan—although in the end, all three of you are just big softies!” As Nagisa slurped on his ice cream, Rei’s eyes grew thoughtful.

“…When I was actually a child myself, not many other children liked me that much.” Not noticing his boyfriend pausing, Rei went on. “Maybe I’ve reached my peak popularity these recent years?” he joked, laughing a little. “If I do say so myself—“

“That’s because they were idiots.” Blinking, Rei looked up at Nagisa’s mutter—the blond was frowning as he stared ahead, no longer licking at his ice cream. “Looks like the kids in Ren and Ran’s generation are much smarter.” He could feel the blond’s hold on his hand tighten. After observing his boyfriend’s profile for a while, a gentle smile formed on Rei’s face. 

“Well, I _did_ become a lot more sociable in high school,” he said mildly, in an attempt to placate the blond. “Or maybe I just didn’t meet the right children earlier.” Getting up, he puffed out his chest proudly. “After all, I’m sure everyone at Iwatobi High was taken by my beauty! _Daw~hahahaw~!!”_ As dorky laughter filled the air between them, the furrow in Nagisa’s brow disappeared. Eventually, he was giggling at his boyfriend—noting the change in his expression, Rei smiled, sitting back down.

“Let’s finish these and head back—we do have to stop by the raffle before it closes, after all.” Nagisa blinked, before returning the smile.

“Yeah!” 

…

As much as Nagisa had trusted his birthday luck, they ended up not winning the trip to Hawaii. However, Nagisa had managed to win one of the minor prizes, which just happened to be a penguin-patterned bathrobe set for couples ( _“You’ll wear it with me, right, Rei-chan?” “O-of course, Nagisa-kun.” “Hm~? You just stammered!” “I did not!”_ ). It turned out that the elderly couple right behind them in line won the grand prize, and although Nagisa had been a little disappointed at first, he was humming cheerfully on Rei’s back by the time they neared their apartment.

“We should take a bubble bath to celebrate, Rei-chan!” he was saying, swing his legs around idly from Rei’s back. “And then we can try on the bathrobes! There’s this vanilla-scented soap I got from a friend that we can use!” 

“All right,” Rei murmured, ears turning pink at the ‘we’. 

“That old couple next to us looked nice—I bet they’re going to have a great time on that vacation!” Nagisa continued cheerfully. “When we’ve saved up enough, or maybe win the next raffle, let’s go to Hawaii too!” At the mention of the future, Rei smiled softly.

“All right.” 

 

Once they were inside the apartment, Rei went into the kitchen to put the groceries away while Nagisa flopped down on the couch. It was then that the blond felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. 

“Ah—it’s Mako-chan!” Face brightening, Nagisa picked up the call. “Hello, Mako-chan~? Huh, you called earlier? Oh, I must’ve been busy with the kids then—I was just out getting groceries with Rei-chan, see, and then—“ As the blond went on describing the events of their grocery trip, Rei carefully stacked the vegetables into the refrigerator. 

“—and we won a couple bathrobe set! Guess what, it even has penguins on it!” Humming slightly to himself, Rei got the pitcher of water and poured a glass for himself and Nagisa. He picked up one of the glasses and started drinking. 

“—Oh~ You mean that advice I asked for you yesterday?” As soon as he heard these words, Rei spat out his water. His burning face whipped around towards the living room as Nagisa rolled around on the couch, oblivious to Rei’s embarrassment. “Hmm, peach, huh? Haru-chan said that? Geez, he should’ve just told me when I called! And yellow? I see~!” Over his shoulder the blond cast a mischievous grin at Rei. “Although I think I’ve done a good job on my own this morning! …Ah, you didn’t faint again, did you? Hehe, sorry! Yep, it’s been a great day so far! Thanks, Mako-chan! Yep, yep! Mhm~! Is Haru-chan over? Ah, he’s right next to you? Can you put him on the phone? Thanks!—Hello, Haru-chan?” 

After their graduation, both Haru and Makoto had chosen to stay in Iwatobi—Haru attending a liberal arts school while Makoto was studying literature at the best local 4-year college. Rei and Nagisa would see them both when they returned home later in August. Meanwhile, Rin had come to Tokyo a year earlier than Rei and Nagisa, and was attending a sports-famous college in the city. They had promised to meet with Rin that weekend, the redhead having offered to treat them both to lunch as a late birthday present for Nagisa. Rin seemed busy all the time, even during the summer—since he had been scouted at nationals two years ago, Rei knew that he was probably training in most of his spare time. 

As if on cue, the cell phone in Rei’s pocket started vibrating as well. Seeing ‘Rin-san’ flash on the screen, Rei clicked the call button and put the phone to his ear.

“Hello? Rin-san?” 

_[“Why the hell won’t Nagisa pick up his phone?”]_ Rin’s voice grumbled at the other end of the line. _[“Gou tried calling him earlier too and got his answering machine.”]_

“Ah—he might have been a little distracted earlier, Rin-san,” Rei said, pulling out a chair and sitting at the kitchen table. “We were out to get groceries earlier, and right now he’s speaking with Haruka-senpai, so—“

 _[“Hello, Rei-kun? How was Nagisa-kun this morning? Did he take my dressing advice?”]_ As Gou’s excited voice piped up from the other line, Rei froze, turning red and surprised at the same time.

“Gou-san?! You’re with Rin-san?!” Unlike Rin, Gou attended a school in Osaka. Rei had expected her to be home in Iwatobi for the summer.

 _[“Yep, I came up to visit onii-chan!”]_ Gou chirped. _[“So how was it, Rei-kun? I told Nagisa-kun he absolutely_ had _to show off those tantalizing calf muscles at leas—“]_ Her enthusiastic questioning was cut off, and a moment later Rin was on the phone again.

 _[“—stop asking about his_ muscles, _for Christ’s sake!”]_ Hearing the protectiveness in his voice, Rei smiled knowingly. _[“Tch. So is he still talking to Haru?”]_

“Still talking,” Rei confirmed, as he cast a sidelong glance at Nagisa, whose eyes were sparkling animatedly as he shouted something at Haru. “He seems happy to hear their voices—it’s been a while, after all.” Before Rei knew it, his voice had grown fond as he watched his boyfriend.

 _[“Wow, I can just_ hear _your sappiness all the way from here,”]_ Rin drawled from the other end, making Rei flush. _[“So? How’s the little terror doing? You didn’t tire him out too much last night, did you?” “Onii-chan, don’t cover up my ears!!”]_

“F-for your information, that is _none_ of your business, Rin-san!” Rei yelped, face darkening into a beet-red. 

_[“Well, your boyfriend sure made it seem like it was,”]_ Rin replied, and Rei could hear his voice softening. _[“He kinda sounded nervous, actually—and that kid never gets nervous.”]_ Hearing this information, Rei blinked. _[“Though I told him he could bite your balls off by accident and you_ still _wouldn’t be disappointed.”]_

 _“Rin-san!”_ Lowering his voice, Rei spoke in a less-scandalized tone. “He really said that?” 

_[“Yeah, more or less,”]_ Rin replied—from the rustling in the background it sounded as though he was scratching his head. _[“Which I don’t get, since the two of you’ve practically been married for years—but I don’t know. It sounded like he could have something else on his mind, too.”]_ Rei’s eyes wandered back over to Nagisa, who was still talking and laughing on his phone. _[“Not that I think I need to remind you, you’re practically his mother—but just keep an eye out for him. Yeah?”]_

“…I will,” Rei replied earnestly. “Thank you, Rin-san.” After exchanging a few greetings and a promise that Nagisa would call them back, Rei hung up on the Matsuoka siblings. Closing his cell phone, Rei looked back at Nagisa, who was just wrapping up his conversation with Haru and Makoto.

“…Mmhm! Thanks for the birthday call, guys—see you next next week!” Hanging up, the blond looked up and saw Rei staring. “Ah, Rei-chan! You finished with your call? I was gonna put you on the line with Mako-chan and Haru-chan, but last time I checked you were still talking, so—”

“I was just on the phone with Rin-san and Gou-san,” Rei answered. “They said they called earlier but you didn’t pick up.” At this Nagisa perked up. 

“Really? I had no idea—I should’ve remembered to take my phone off vibrate sooner!” Flipping his phone open, the blond checked his call history. “Ah, it’s true! Guess I should call up Rin-Rin now—“ Just as he said this, his phone started to ring again. “Wow, Rin-chan sure is fa—“ Nagisa’s voice stopped in mid-sentence when he saw the caller ID. It was in that moment that Rei thought he saw a slight change in Nagisa’s expression. 

“—oh, it’s Mom.” At that statement, Rei started a little before letting his face fall into a neutral look. “Guess I’ll take this first!” He pressed call and lifted the phone to his ear. 

“Hello—Mom? Yeah, I’ve been doing fine—yep, so has Rei-chan! How’re you and Dad?” As Nagisa continued to talk, Rei lingered for a while, trying to figure out why the blond seemed a little different all of a sudden. But after a minute or so, the brunet got up and went to his room instead. 

…

While Rei’s parents knew that they were dating. Nagisa’s parents did not. People who didn’t know their families well might have expected it to be the other way around, but that was how it was. Before Rei had always imagined Nagisa’s parents were like their son, cheery and casual and open-minded—but after Nagisa ran away from home in their second year of high school, Rei had learned that it was the opposite. He had only met Nagisa’s parents a few times—once when he, Makoto, and Haru helped Nagisa convince them to let their son stay in the swim club, a few more times out of the many occasions Rei visited the Hazukis’ home to tutor Nagisa, and, most recently, when they were asking for their parents’ permission to room together in Tokyo. 

It wasn’t that Rei thought they were bad people—they did seem to genuinely care about their youngest child and want the best for him. But they were ‘a bit conservative’, according to Nagisa, and that phrase seemed to fit Rei’s impression of them as well. Rei’s own parents were professors with very liberal mindsets, and even _they_ had only found out about their son’s relationship with Nagisa by accident—one that involved an awkward walk-in on the two teenagers kissing in Rei’s bedroom. Although they had warned Rei and Nagisa of the hardships they might face in the future, Rei’s parents had accepted their relationship, much to their son and his boyfriend’s relief. Even now it scared Rei a little, when he thought about how things might have turned out if _Nagisa’s_ parents had been the ones to walk in on them. 

Maybe that was why, even now, Rei felt a little uncomfortable being in the same room when Nagisa was on the phone with his parents. It almost felt like he was eavesdropping even if he wasn’t paying explicit attention, and although they both had agreed that they’d go to their bedrooms for calls they wanted to keep private, it was almost always Rei retreating elsewhere first—whether it was his room or the bathroom or the living room, depending on where they were at the time. 

Slowly falling onto his bed, Rei stared at the ceiling of his bedroom, eyes lost in thought. They wandered absently around the room before landing on his closet. On a sudden whim, Rei got up from his bed and walked over to the closet, opening one of its doors. 

Inside, stashed away in a dark corner, was Rei’s birthday gift for Nagisa. It was resting inside a small box, wrapped in purple gift wrap with a yellow ribbon. Taking it out, Rei held it in his hand for a while, staring at it thoughtfully. 

_‘It sounded like he could have something else on his mind, too. Keep an eye out for him.’_

_‘On my seventeenth birthday I confessed to you! So I'm pretty darn sure it does exist!’_

_‘But if you hadn’t, where would we be now?’_

_‘Where would we be’, huh…_ Absently, Rei brought the back of his palm to rest over his lips, the box still in his hand. 

“Rei-chan~?” When he heard Nagisa’s voice outside his door, Rei nearly threw the box across the room. Shooting up from his bed, the brunet scrambled to hide the box back in the closet, shutting the door quickly.

“Y-yes, Nagisa-kun?!” 

“I just got off the phone with Rin-chan and Gou-chan!” Rei blinked, checking his wristwatch. Around thirty minutes had passed since he’d gone into his room—he must have been spaced out for the entirety of that time. “Let’s play some cards or read manga or something!”

“Sure—just a minute—!” Rei cast a quick look at the mirror on his dresser, making sure his expression didn’t look too ruffled before opening the door. As soon as he did, his eyes rounded. 

“Nagisa-kun—when did you change clothes?” There Nagisa stood, in a peach-colored short-sleeved jumper Rei hadn’t seen before, and light yellow shorts—the kind, Rei noticed, that came well above his knees. The warm colors brought out his hair and eyes, and settled well against his light skin. Remembering the advice from Haruka he’d overheard, Rei swallowed and casually looked off to the side. It didn’t pass by Nagisa unnoticed—the blond retained his casual smile, however, as he took Rei’s hands and tugged him out the doorway.

“Well, since we can’t go anywhere fancy, I thought I should change out of my sweaty clothes at the least~! C’mon~!”

They spent most of the afternoon playing cards, board games, video games, reading manga (a reluctant Rei reading some shoujo manga out loud for Nagisa and eventually immersing himself in acting out the roles, which had the blond collapse in a laughing heap), and just chatting. Before they knew it, it was past six in the evening. When he noticed the time, Rei started, nearly dropping Nagisa’s head from his lap onto the floor. 

_“Ack_ —Rei-chan!” As the blond eyed him reproachfully, Rei scratched his cheek apologetically.

“I’m sorry, Nagisa-kun—I just realized it’s already past six,” he explained. “I should get started on dinner now.” Eyes snapping to attention, the older boy grinned as his hands and feet jubilantly shot up in the air.

“Yeah! Hamburger steak!” Smiling, Rei helped Nagisa sit up before standing. 

“It shouldn’t take over an hour,” he said. “Please keep yourself occupied until then.”

“Roger!” As Nagisa flopped onto his belly and reached for another comic book, Rei went into the kitchen, taking his apron off the hook and putting it on. Thanks to living with Nagisa, the brunet was sure he could now satisfy the palate of most children in Japan. He quickly set to work, taking the ingredients out of the fridge and the pans out of the cabinet.

…

About an hour later, Nagisa was sitting at the kitchen table with shining eyes, his mouth in the shape of an O and his eyebrows lifted with awe.

“Chef Ryuugazaki-sama!!” he burst out, fists at his side with excitement. “Thank you for the perfection that is this meal!” Before him was a plate filled with a juicy slab of hamburger steak, topped with demi glace sauce and a perfectly fried sunny-side-up egg. Around it was a side of tomato pasta, baked potatoes, steamed broccoli and salad. The corners of Rei’s mouth were quirked up, his chest puffed out with his hands on his hips. 

“I must admit, I have outdone myself _twice_ today, if I say so myself! Please feel free to call me the Beauty Butterfly Chef!” As he laughed proudly, Nagisa eagerly picked up his knife and fork.

“Thanks for the meal!” As the blond dug in, Rei’s proud face softened into a fond expression. He went to the kitchen and brought back his own smaller portion as well. 

In the back of his mind, Rei pondered over Rin’s words again. For a long time he left his meal untouched, staring at Nagisa as he wolfed down the hamburger steak. Maybe, just maybe, Rei thought, he had been too nervous the day before to see things clearly. But the Nagisa before him looked perfectly happy, cheeks full of food as they bobbed up and down. Over the years Rei had trained his ability to sense if Nagisa was feeling unwell in any sense—so he was around ninety-five percent sure that whatever was on Nagisa’s mind couldn’t be a _terrible_ thing. But then again, maybe Nagisa had also gotten better at hiding his feelings as well over the years—for whatever reason that he might feel the need to do so. Feeling curious, the brunet was debating between asking his boyfriend directly and coaxing it out of him later—when the person in question looked up from his plate.

“Rei-chan, why aren’t you eating? Everything tastes delicious!” The blond frowned slightly, in a way that resembled Rei’s worried frown. “Plus you’re being awfully quiet—are you coming down with something?” 

“Ah—“ Rei blinked, before he smiled casually. “I’m fine, Nagisa-kun—I was just thinking that you seem to be enjoying today a lot. Even though it’s the first birthday you’ve spent away from Iwatobi…”

“But of course I am!” Nagisa replied cheerily. “Rei-chan’s been spoiling me left and right today, after all! What more is there to wish for?” In the evening sunlight Rei noticed the food crumbs and sauce around Nagisa’s mouth. For a brief moment, he considered getting the gift from his room, but he relented. Something told him that a better time would come later. Clearing his throat, the younger boy reached across the table and, grabbing a napkin from the holder, wiped the food off the blond’s face. 

“If you eat so quickly, you’ll choke, Nagisa-kun,” Rei scolded, in a voice that was anything but scolding. “And take bites of your salad in-between, please.” For a moment Nagisa stared at Rei, pupils wavering slightly. Then, he cast them down, smiling in a quietly contented way. 

“Yeah. I’ll try.” Before Rei had the time to be stunned, the blond quickly snapped back to his usual boisterous self. “But hurry up and eat, Rei-chan! We’ve got that bubble bath to get into after this!” 

“—All right.” Blinking owlishly, Rei returned to his meal—suddenly realizing that his throat had turned dry. He picked up the glass of water next to him and gulped it down, feeling strangely like he was on his first date again. 

…

It turned out that the bath wasn’t as awkward or embarrassing as Rei had thought it would be. They had a fun time in the small tub, Nagisa ceremoniously spilling half the vanilla bubble bath into the water (he had originally intended to pour _all_ of it, but Rei’s shriek thankfully stopped him). It was actually relaxing for the most part, Nagisa purring with content as Rei washed his hair, Rei getting his own hair conditioned into spikes by Nagisa—although the brunet wailed that it was not beautiful when he saw himself in the mirror. At one point Nagisa had pulled out a water gun and started squirting Rei in the face as a surprise attack, but at least Rei had gotten back at him by tickling his sides and making him drop the toy. And at one point, they just sat comfortably amidst the bubbles, Nagisa leaning back against Rei so that the brunet’s chin rested in his hair. 

Just a few years ago, Rei never imagined that he would be close enough with anyone to share this sort of experience with them. Intimacy had always made him uncomfortable, and before Nagisa he’d always shied away from physical contact. Not that Rei had started to embrace it right away after they started going out—and Nagisa had been surprisingly thoughtful in that aspect. Surprisingly, it was not long before Rei was occasionally initiating physical contact—slipping his hand over Nagisa’s, straightening out his frequent cases of bedhead, even kissing the blond first. Even though it hadn’t been a common occurrence, Nagisa had looked happy each time, and that in turn had made Rei feel happy as well. And now they were even together like this—even though they had been living together for half a year now, Rei still found himself marveling at the turn of events. 

It wasn’t just about the physical closeness either. The feeling still struck him from time to time when he looked at or thought of the blond, leaving him dazed in the middle of whatever he was doing then. Something between loneliness and belonging, comfort and nervousness, a sensation that made his throat dry. Between relishing their closeness and wanting to be even closer. And the sudden bouts of happiness that sometimes struck him like bullets and, at other times, crept up on him at the most random times. As he dried Nagisa’s hair on the sofa, both of them wearing the penguin-patterned bathrobes from the raffle, Rei thought about it all—and again, what Rin had said to him over the phone. 

“Nagisa-kun.” 

“Hm~?” Nagisa hummed pleasantly as Rei reached behind his ears with the towel. 

“Is there anything on your mind that you wish to tell me?” For a moment, Rei heard the humming stop. Then, a casual-sounding voice replied.

“What makes you think that, Rei-chan?” As the blond continued humming, Rei stared at his own hands for a while, which had stopped moving for the moment. “Is there something Rei-chan wants to tell me?” The brunet blinked, as he was suddenly met with Nagisa’s curious burgundy eyes peeking out from the fringe of his pale lashes. His boyfriend had tilted his head back so he could see Rei’s face—the corners of his lips curved up in a smile. For a moment Rei’s mouth fell open slightly—before he smiled back and shook his head.

“It’s nothing.” He returned to drying the blond’s hair, giving it a few more light fluffs before putting the towel down. 

“Hmm. Let’s put on one of those DVD’s now!” Nagisa’s grin widened. “It’s movie time!” At that Rei’s face paled slightly.

“Lights out?” he asked, in what he hoped was a casual voice.

“Yep! It’s finally dark outside!” 

“…All right.” He struggled to keep his voice normal-pitched as the blond happily grabbed a DVD from the stack on the coffee table. 

…

 _“Hyaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!”_

The sound of Rei’s shriek filled their dark apartment, as a character lost their head on the screen. Ducking his head behind Nagisa’s shoulders, the brunet’s hands shook as they held onto his boyfriend’s arms. 

“…Rei-cha…” As the blond mumbled his name in a relaxed voice, Rei responded in a terse voice.

“N-Nagisa-kun! How are you so calm—“

“Give that penguin…the speedo…” As Nagisa’s head nodded and his form slumped forward a little, Rei blinked. Forgetting about the screams coming from the TV, the brunet sat up straight and looked around Nagisa’s shoulder. He realized then that the older boy had fallen asleep in his arms—he was now breathing in and out softly, eyes closed as his chest heaved up and down. Blinking, Rei looked up at the clock on their wall—it was already eleven-thirty. Looking back at the blond, he was wondering whether he should wake him or carry him to bed when Nagisa began to stir.

“Mm…eh…I fell asleep?” Sitting up in Rei’s arms, Nagisa rubbed his eyes. “Did I miss a lot of the movie, Rei-chan?”

“You couldn’t have fallen asleep for more than ten minutes, I think,” Rei said, jerking slightly as a particularly ear-splitting scream was followed by the sound of a whirring chainsaw. “To think that you fell asleep in the middle of this ABSOLUTELY UNBEAUTIFUL BLOODFEST!” he yelped, as he ducked his head behind Nagisa’s shoulders once more, having glimpsed a particularly gory scene from the movie. “—I am a-absolutely amazed.” Nagisa’s smile widened.

“Aw, but Rei-chan, it’s totally beautiful! Just look at that amazing gory makeup!” As Rei blanched and his arms tightened around Nagisa’s stomach, the blond laughed affectionately. “Plus I can 100% count on you clinging to me while we watch—what’s not beautiful about that?”

“Th-that isn’t beautiful at all!” Rei stammered, ears turning pink. “And I do _not_ cli— _hyaaah!!”_ As Rei buried his face in his nape once more, Nagisa giggled. 

“That tickles, Rei-chan! But don’t worry, we’re almost at the end now—“ His eyes coincidentally wandered elsewhere, and suddenly he let out a shout. “AHH!!”

“HIIIIEEE!! Wh-what?!” As Rei yelped, Nagisa stared with surprise at the clock.

“It’s already eleven-thirty! And we didn’t even do the cake yet!” Crawling off Rei’s lap, Nagisa pulled Rei up from the couch. “C’mon, Rei-chan! My birthday’s gonna end soon!” 

…

Five minutes later, Nagisa sat at the table, a delicious-looking strawberry shortcake with nineteen lit candles before him. The day before, Rei had gone out in the evening to purchase it from a famous Tokyo bakery an hour away from the apartment. After bursting out with delighted surprise and admiring the cake for a good minute, Nagisa looked up at Rei with an expectant grin.

“Well, then! Sing to me, Rei-chan!” At the command Rei coughed, feeling put on the spot.

“B-by myself?” he stammered. The blond’s eyes only grew more sparkly as he nodded.

“Of _course_ by yourself, Rei-chan! I haven’t heard you sing anything since music period in high school!” He clapped his hands together cheerfully. “Hurry!”

“V-very well then.” For all of Nagisa’s previous birthdays, Rei had only sung with other people, making sure his less-than-musically-apt voice was the very back of the background. Clearing his throat again, the brunet opened his mouth. 

“H-happy birthday to you…” As he sang slightly off-key, Nagisa giggled. Rei shot him a look.

“Do you want me to sing or not?!” Music had never been his best subject—back in high school, the music teacher had always commented that he was singing off-key, or that his transitions in pitch were too stiff and unconnected. Settling down, Nagisa grinned apologetically at Rei.

“Sorry, sorry! Keep going, Rei-chan—I promise I won’t laugh!” Sighing, the younger boy went on, trying his best to sing as naturally as possible.

“…Happy birthday, dear Nagisa—“ For some reason, Rei’s voice grew a little nervous. “—kun~” 

“Eeeh~? Did you have to tack the –kun on~?” Nagisa whined. Ignoring him, Rei finished the song.

“Happy birthday to you~!” He clapped somewhat awkwardly as Nagisa leaned forward and blew out the candles. 

“Happy birthday to me!” he declared cheerfully. “I wish I can get a real-live penguin for my next birthday!”

“That is absolutely _not_ happening, Nagisa-kun,” Rei commented dryly. “And please don’t try to kidnap one from the zoo, like last time.” He was referring to one of their high school dates to the Iwatobi Zoo—an experience that had created, along with many fond memories, a particularly exhausting one of restraining Nagisa as he tried to climb over the rail into the penguin exhibit.

“Ehh~? You’re such a party pooper, Rei-chan!” Pouting, Nagisa turned back to the cake, face brightening. “Oh well! Cake time for me!” Grabbing the plastic knife, the blond began to cut himself a large slice, humming cheerfully. As he did, Rei’s palms began to feel a little sweaty—fingers fiddling a little with themselves under the table, the brunet opened his mouth.

“I—have to get something from my room.” At that, Nagisa looked up with an excited smile, as if he already knew.

“Go ahead, Rei-chan!” Nodding a little nervously, Rei stood up and went to his room. Several seconds later, he came back with the box wrapped in purple gift wrap and yellow ribbon. As the brunet sat down, scratching his cheek self-consciously, Nagisa’s eyes sparkled.

“Can I open it, Rei-chan?” he asked, staring at the box curiously. Rei nodded, blushing slightly. With that the blond untied the yellow ribbon and carefully tore the gift wrap off. He opened the box and saw metal glint atop a velvet cushion.

“Rei-chan…” Nagisa whispered, eyes growing wide. The item was a dainty silver-colored watch, the chain made of circular links with penguin and butterfly charms hanging off it. Even though it probably wasn’t real silver, it looked expensive—the blond was already worried that he might scratch it or break it. “You shouldn’t have…”

“I—I got it at the aquarium the other day,” Rei explained, looking off to the side nervously. He didn’t mention that he had taken last-minute extra shifts at his part time job to pay for it. “I—I know I’ve already gotten you a penguin-themed gift before, but—I saw this and I thought of you and—“ He didn’t mention that he had the butterfly charms added to the chain at the counter—hoping Nagisa wouldn’t ask about the unlikely combination, the brunet nervously turned back towards his boyfriend. The blond was smiling warmly up at him, with a genuinely touched look in his eyes.

“Thanks, Rei-chan. Now I can always wear this like you with your grandpa’s watch—we can finally match!” Rei tried to find his voice, to tell Nagisa that technically they wouldn’t match, since the aesthetics of their watches were completely different—but when he opened his mouth it didn’t come out. Clearing his throat in embarrassment, he tried again. 

“I—that is—since it didn’t seem like you had a watch—and since this is made of steel, the chains are strong and won’t scratch easily, so you could wear it anywhere without—“ Somehow, it seemed like his voice was forgetting the words he wanted to say. As if sensing this, Nagisa giggled gently and held his wrist out towards Rei.

“Put it on me?” he asked, eyes sparkling. Swallowing, Rei nodded and reached for the box. Carefully, he unclasped the watch from the cushion. Brushing his fingers against the small of Nagisa’s palm, he gently tugged the blond’s arm forward so that it was at the appropriate distance. The brunet looped the chain around Nagisa’s wrist, clasping the ends together before letting the accessory settle. The light silvery charms shone against the blond’s light skin like stars. Their light seemed to almost bounce off Nagisa’s eyes, as the older boy stared at the gift with quiet adoration, his lips curved up in a soft smile. There it was again—the expression that Rei had seen during dinner, the one that had taken his breath away.

_‘I...I didn't answer you right away, though.’_

So many things had changed since that time.

_‘But if you hadn’t, where would we be now?’_

So, so many things. He wonder if Nagisa knew, just how much the world around him had changed.

_‘I think I like you, too.’_

For Rei, there was no ‘I think’ anymore. Before his brain could catch up with his heart, he heard the words slip out in a hoarse whisper.

 

“I love you.”

 

Rei thought he heard Nagisa’s breathing stop. Hands shaking under the table, the brunet slowly, fearfully, raised his head. He felt his own breathing stop when he saw Nagisa’s face—his cheeks beautifully flushed, burgundy eyes glistening as they stared hard at Rei, mouth fallen open slightly. It looked as if he was going to cry, and for a moment Rei feared that he had made a grave mistake. Panic and dread rushing down his spine, the brunet immediately jerked up in his chair, face burning and paling at the same time.

“I-I mean—I’m sorry! I don’t know what got into me—oh god, I’m so sorry, Nagisa-kun!! I didn’t mean to trouble you, and on your birthday, too—oh god, I’m sorry, I’m so—“ 

Before he knew it, a body barreled into Rei, almost knocking him over on his chair. Just as the small remainder of his sanity ordered him to grip the table for balance, Rei felt a pair of lips press hard against his. The brunet barely had the time to register that it was Nagisa before the blond slung his arms around his neck and tugged his face closer. Quickly, Rei felt his body temperature rise as Nagisa half-straddled him on the chair, his kisses turning harder, deeper, and more insistent. His half-fried mind recognized the taste of strawberry cake—it seemed Nagisa had gotten in a few bites when Rei went to fetch the birthday present. Groaning with both embarrassment and confusion, the brunet gasped for breath between kisses, face beet-red and hot, hair disheveled from Nagisa’s hands gripping it.

“N-Nagisa-kun— _mmf!_ W-wait! _Mmf_ —I just, we— _mrf_ —c-can we please at least— _mmf!_ —talk it out— _hnn!”_ When the blond finally pulled away, Rei heaved a shaky breath as he opened his mouth.

“…ve you too.” He blinked as he heard Nagisa’s small voice. 

“…What?”

“I love you too, you idiot!!” Immediately, Rei’s eyes snapped wide open with surprise. His boyfriend was glaring up at him with teary eyes and equally flushed cheeks. “What took you so long to say it!? You’re stupid, stupid, _stupid!!”_ The blond proceeded to punch Rei in the stomach repeatedly—and while it should have hurt in any other context, the brunet couldn’t feel any pain at all. Overwhelmed by a simultaneous rush of relief and awe and giddy happiness, Rei struggled internally as to how he should react. In the end, he reached down and placed a hand on Nagisa’s face, making the blond look up. Gently, Rei wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes, sliding a thumb over his cheek in an affectionate caress. 

“I’m sorry.” He didn’t even know why he was apologizing—all he heard in his head were Nagisa’s outburst, over and over. “I didn’t—since when…?” 

“I don’t know!” the blond wailed, as more fat tears leaked out of his eyes. “I just—I really missed you in third year and hated that we got into that stupid fight and then, all of a sudden it’s spring again and graduation and you said we should live together in Tokyo and now we’re living together and—“ Stopping for breath, Nagisa continued. “And even though you nag me all the time about me leaving my stuff around and eating too much junk food I’m just r-really happy that I get to come home to you all the time and—and then I start thinking how nice it’d be if we could stay like this forever and then—and then I realize how much of me I trust you with, and now you’re spoiling me left and right because it’s my birthday and carrying me around everywhere and before I know it I feel so comfortable around you but at the same time I’m feeling nervous because it’s you, Rei-chan, you and that stupid dorky laugh and stupid theories and that stupid soft look you get in your eyes when you smile at me sometimes and—“

“Wait, wait, slow down, Nagisa-kun,” Rei said at last, feeling a little faint. “I—I’m honestly feeling overwhelmed—in a good way of course!” he added quickly, as he saw the blond’s face furrow with hurt. “But please, for your own sake, calm down—take a few deep breaths first.” To the brunet’s relief, Nagisa listened to his advice, looking down at his laps and breathing in and out. Almost naturally, Rei looped his arms around the small of Nagisa’s back, supporting his boyfriend with one hand while rubbing comforting circles into it with the other. 

“—I just—“ When Nagisa spoke again, this time in a quieter voice, Rei’s ears perked up. “I was worried that—that it wouldn’t be the same for you. That you just weren’t _there_ yet—that I was just getting ahead of myself.” He paused, still not looking up from his lap, sniffing. “That’s why, when you asked me if I wanted to tell you anything, I chickened out. I thought that I’d just be getting my hopes up on my own. I was scared, Rei-chan.” For a long moment, Rei said nothing in response—his mind thought about the underlying anxiety he himself had felt, the emotions that had swirled deep in his stomach, constantly fighting to breach the surface, whenever he was around Nagisa. 

“I know,” he murmured slowly, causing the blond to look up. “I think, all along, I was probably scared, too.” At that, Nagisa slowly blinked his eyes, before letting out a weak laugh.

“What’s with you, Rei-chan?” Raising his hand, the blond dabbed his eyes with his knuckles. “What made you say it today? ‘Cause it’s my birthday?” Rei paused.

“I think, that probably…” As the words stuck in his throat, he looked away, cheeks starting to flush.

“What? What is it, Rei-chan?” As Nagisa crawled closer into Rei’s lap, the brunet froze, brows furrowing nervously. 

“But it’s embarrassing…” he murmured in a low voice, blush darkening.

“Rei-chan~!” As Nagisa chided him, Rei sighed.

“…It’s probably because…” he began in a small voice, looking anywhere but Nagisa. “When I saw how you smiled just now…and at dinner…” He recalled both of Nagisa’s quiet contented smiles, and his blush darkened even more. “I thought…that it would be nice, if I could keep staying by your side…and make you happy. And before I knew it, I…spoke.” As if to hide his expression, the brunet placed a hand over his face—not pushing his glasses up but letting his fingers stop just under the rims. When he was met with silence, he hastily pried his mouth open. 

“Th-this is exactly why I didn’t want to say it! I—“ When Nagisa grabbed his face and forced him to meet his eyes, Rei stopped short in his words. 

“Rei-chan,” the blond said, in a serious tone that worried Rei before his next words. “You better take responsibility for that.” The lower tone of Nagisa’s voice sent chills up Rei’s spine—until the blond closed the distance between their lips once more. 

Now, unlike the moment before, Rei’s hands were firmly on Nagisa’s waist as the two of them kissed. He felt Nagisa straddling him fully now, the blond’s arms looping around Rei’s neck, tugging him closer. His hands ended up tangled in Rei’s hair once more as their lips met and their tongues brushed against each other, softly exhaling and catching their breaths in the spare moments. As Nagisa’s bathrobe slid up his thigh from moving, Rei felt his hand move there, palming the soft skin and stroking the lithe muscle. His boyfriend felt warm, smelled like vanilla, still tasted of strawberries—it had Rei looping his arm around the blond to draw him even closer, as close as he possibly could. It was then that the front of Nagisa’s bathrobe fell a little open—and just like that Rei’s hands were reaching inside, brushing up and down against his boyfriend’s bare sides as they continued to kiss. Feeling Nagisa shiver slightly with pleasure, Rei scooted closer towards him on the chair—

And heard Nagisa gasp as he nearly fell over. As if on reflex, Rei caught him under his arms and jerked the both of them back, just in time—the two of them bumping their foreheads together in the process. 

After staring at each other for a while, both of them burst into laughter.

 _“Hahahahaha_ —Rei-chan, what are you doing? You almost pushed me off—and right after you confessed to me too! _Ahahaha!!"_ As Nagisa wiped his tears of laughter, Rei smiled playfully at his boyfriend.

"Oh, I apologize. Would you have preferred a planned speech with roses, candlelight, and music playing in the background?" he teased, after recalling a certain memory. Leaning forward, the blond lightly bumped his nose against Rei's in retaliation.

"Maybe I would've!" he teased back. "There's no way I'm satisfied with just _you,_ after all!" But he was all smiles, his tone light and playful. Pretending to frown, Rei grabbed Nagisa's cheek and pulled on it gently.

"You're so cheeky, Nagisa-kun." In response, Nagisa pulled out of Rei's grasp and nuzzled him under his chin. 

"But that's what you love about me, right?" The blond looked up and was about to tease Rei for his reddening face when a yawn escaped his lips first. Noticing this, Rei sighed and patted his boyfriend's head, fluffing up his hair a bit with affection.

"Let's go to bed, Nagisa-kun." Overhead, the clock on the wall read a minute past midnight. "Happy belated birthday." Letting out another yawn, Nagisa nodded.

"Can we sleep in your room tonight?" When Rei gave Nagisa a look of almost motherly disapproval, the blond added, "We can just cuddle, Rei-chan. Geez, you're such a pervert!" Flushing, Rei averted his eyes from Nagisa as the boy wrapped his arms and legs around him. "My butt still hurts—carry me, my slave!" 

"Would you kindly refrain from calling me that!" Wrapping his arms around Nagisa's waist, Rei hoisted him off the chair, carrying the blond to his room. 

Once inside, Rei placed Nagisa on his mattress and tucked him in, taking his glasses off and setting them on the dresser before sliding under the covers himself. As soon as he did, the brunet felt his boyfriends arms wrap around his back, the blond burying his face in Rei's chest and letting out a contented sigh. 

"Good night, Rei-chan!" In the dark, Rei smiled and wrapped his own arms around the blond. He tugged the smaller boy closer, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"Good night, Nagisa-kun." When everything had been silent for the next fifteen minutes Rei thought Nagisa had fallen asleep. He was just about to drift off himself when a voice spoke up next to him.

"Rei-chan. Can I ask you something?" Blinking, Rei looked down at the blond, now able to make out his face in the dark.

"What is it, Nagisa-kun?" For a moment Nagisa was silent, toes hesitantly curling and uncurling on the mattress.

"I've been thinking...about telling my parents about us." The breath caught in Rei's throat as his eyes widened. 

“Nagisa-kun…?” Hearing the surprise in his voice, Nagisa hurried to explain.

“I mean—if you don’t feel comfortable with that, than I don’t have to tell them now—not right away.” He paused. “I’ve just…been thinking. That I don’t want to introduce you as a friend anymore.” His arms tightened around Rei slightly. “That I don’t want you to come over for dinner when we go back, and have my mom ask you what you think about my sisters. Even as a joke.” 

“Nagisa-kun…” As Rei murmured his name softly, Nagisa smiled a little.

“You want to hear something cheeky?” He looked up at Rei, placing a hand on the brunet’s cheek. “When I first saw you pole vault, I really did think you were beautiful and that you’d be a great addition to the swim team. But even before that, I noticed you were alone all the time—you wouldn’t talk to anyone in class, and even at lunch you were eating by yourself. I thought I was doing you a favor by getting you to join the club, so you could learn how to have fun around people and wouldn’t be lonely anymore.” The blond laughed. 

“But in the end, it was the opposite. All that time, you were the one staying by my side, looking after me, telling me not to give up. After I met you, I was the one who didn’t feel so lonely anymore. And when I realized that, I kept thinking how lucky I was, to have someone like you with me…and that I wanted to keep you with me, maybe forever.” He inhaled slightly, before continuing.

“I don’t want to hide you anymore, Rei-chan. Even if my parents disapprove, I’m not going to let go of you. Not when you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” When he was met by a drawn-out silence, Nagisa started to think he had made a mistake. Then he heard a sniffing noise, which caused his head to snap up with alarm.

“Rei-chan…? Are you…?”

“D-don’t point it out, please!” Rei protested, his voice sounding a little choked. “Just…just give me a minute…!” In the dark, Nagisa thought he could make out Rei’s slightly glassy eyes. 

“Aw, Rei-chan~!” Arms tightening around the taller boy, Nagisa inched upwards on the mattress and pressed a kiss to Rei’s forehead. “Don’t cry~!” Even as he said this, however, he could feel his eyes getting a little damp. 

“I-I’m not crying! I just—have dust in my eye—that is all!” The obviously cliché protest only made Nagisa smile, as he blinked his own teary eyes. 

“Mmhm...!” For five minutes they just lay there, the blond running his hands up and down Rei’s back comfortingly. Then, Rei spoke.

“If that’s what you truly want to do, Nagisa-kun, then that is perfectly fine with me.” As Nagisa’s eyes rounded in the dark, Rei hugged the blond closer to him, a decided expression on his face. “When you do, I’ll be there to support you the best I can.” Hearing Nagisa’s breath come to a stop, Rei hastily added, “I mean, that is, if you _want_ me to accompany you on the occasion—I am perfectly willing to support you in another fashion if that’s what you—“

“I love you, Rei-chan!” Nagisa’s earnest voice stopped Rei in midsentence. “I really, _really_ love you _so much!”_ Feeling the blond bury his head in his chest and leak tears on his bathrobe, Rei smiled fondly down at his boyfriend. 

 

“I love you a lot, too.” 

 

…

When Rei woke up the next morning, his eyes were swollen and his cheeks were hurting from smiling in his sleep. But when Nagisa barged into his bedroom with clumsily made breakfast on a tray and a bright smile on his face, Rei thought that it was already one of the best mornings of his life. 

When his cheeks continued to hurt, Rei realized that he had never stopped smiling. 

He knew that, from what he and Nagisa had discussed last night, there was sure to be trouble ahead. But for now, he felt that all was right with the world. And with Nagisa, Rei knew that all was sure to be right with the world again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It felt kind of weird writing something without a grand plot (after two long multi-chapter stories), but this was a great break for me. I feel like I've been able to explore Rei and Nagisa's characters a little more through this and I'm glad. Thank you for reading! :3


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